is this reasonable visitation?

[phoenixdad]

Hi my name is Steve,

I have a son named Ryan that is out in California.I am in Phoenix. He is  a wonderful, bright boy who loves skateboarding and soccer. My ex wife and I adopted him from birth from his biological mother. We all lived together two years until my ex and I decided to get divorced. Her father had a friend who was willing to draw up the divorce papers and do it at no charge. I had been going through a bit of depression at the time and was all too happy to sign the papers. I did not have a lawyer of my own go over the papers and signed them. In doing so I gave her full custody of Ryan with reasonable visitation, all of our assets except a car.

Since our divorce I have not been able to see my son without supervision, I put up with this when he was younger but now he is 6 and a half years old. I live in phoenix with my fiancee and our son and have a career working at a cadillac dealership. I have asked several times to take Ryan out on a day trip , just the two of us, but she said that her lawyer told me it was unsafe and could not give any specific examples why. She also states that he has "special needs" and thats why I can not see him. He has seen a psychiatrist for learning disabilities but that is it.
I hired a lawyer to help me, for a 1500 dollar retainer. He wrote two letters to her lawyer and told me he needed 1500 more dollars to continue. I cant afford that kind of money , so I decided to take on the case myself.

Now that I told you just a small bit of my story I have a few questions:


1) What does reasonable visitation entitle me to in regards to visitation with my son?

2)is there any resource area I can use to get my case started?

3)is there any way to revisit the original divorce decree?

I am committed to doing what is best for Ryan, and I feel he needs a strong relationship with his father.

Thank you in advance for your help,


Steve Connors




















 
 

 

[gipsy]

Well I would post this on Socrateasers board , He helps people like you , I believe you need a parenting plan that states when and where you pick up and After that it;s up to youwhat you do , I am not familiar with Out of state plans ,
  Mine is in state , And it say's  Pick up thursday after school at 3 pm drop at University place Mcdonalds at 7 pm
   And friday at Gig harbor Mcdonalds at 5 pm . Drop off at 5 pm sunday
  Summer vacation will be By  father choosing his dates by april 20th on the even years and mother chooses her dates on the odd years ,
     Holiday schedule . Blah Blah . Ok so you get it ! But you have an out of state plan that needs clarification . And you need a atty that just tells you that , It seems the last one just took your money , That happened to me . I did the same ,. You need an atty that get the parenting plan straightened out , Then you will have to post about the events , You need to interview 10 atty's or so and get  to the point and get it done . If the atty doesn't give you a direct answer then move on !

[Ref]

First of all, we had the same "reasonable visitation" clause and dealt with mom's power issues of too many years. "yes I will allow you access to SD, but you can't have wifey with you" "no you can't have her at 4:30, you must pick her up at 9:30. Why? I don't need to tell you"...etc etc etc.

DH got sick of it and filed for modification. He gets every other holiday, any weekend he wants so long as he gives 7 days notice and it is in BM's town, and all summer EXCEPT the first week and the last week. It is pretty detailed with times, I would definately make sure that it clear.

It also spells out who pays for travel, I suggest you split it. You pay to have the kid come and she pays to have the kid return.

My suggestion is to see if the court where the child lives has a standard agreement and modify it to work with out of state. The less you modify, the more likely you will get what you ask.


Good Luck!
Ref

[snapplegirl69]

For visitation transportation costs,most of the time it is paid 100% by the parent who moved.In this case,did you move or her?You can modify a visitation degree at ANY time.It is not set in stone.Do you have the doctors' name of the child?If so,call the doctor and get copies of all of his records.Learning disabilites are not special needs.

[gipsy]

And not to mention . My atty's advice was to be really nice to the Doctor , And if they don't give you the info just say ,  Ok "well I tell you what , How About if you ask your superior If you should , Or who ever you need to ask even if thats an atty ,And say  I know I have the legal right as a parent to have the record .
   I did this ,and they came back out and said ok sign this and this and gave  me the record , Then I sent a letter to her atty stateing that no such condition exists that recomends limited contact with me or any medical reason for us to not go where we want to , And I will have my son for  the visit .
   This put an end to that crap . However it had to be done twice . They all seem to try the same crappola . My atty advised this method before court action , he was right and it worked , and she gave up the visits

[BellaDi]

>Hi my name is Steve,
>
>I have a son named Ryan that is out in California.I am in
>Phoenix. He is  a wonderful, bright boy who loves
>skateboarding and soccer. My ex wife and I adopted him from
>birth from his biological mother. We all lived together two
>years until my ex and I decided to get divorced. Her father
>had a friend who was willing to draw up the divorce papers and
>do it at no charge. I had been going through a bit of
>depression at the time and was all too happy to sign the
>papers. I did not have a lawyer of my own go over the papers
>and signed them. In doing so I gave her full custody of Ryan
>with reasonable visitation, all of our assets except a car.
>
>Since our divorce I have not been able to see my son without
>supervision, I put up with this when he was younger but now he
>is 6 and a half years old. I live in phoenix with my fiancee
>and our son and have a career working at a cadillac
>dealership. I have asked several times to take Ryan out on a
>day trip , just the two of us, but she said that her lawyer
>told me it was unsafe and could not give any specific examples
>why. She also states that he has "special needs" and thats why
>I can not see him. He has seen a psychiatrist for learning
>disabilities but that is it.
>I hired a lawyer to help me, for a 1500 dollar retainer. He
>wrote two letters to her lawyer and told me he needed 1500
>more dollars to continue. I cant afford that kind of money ,
>so I decided to take on the case myself.
>
>Now that I told you just a small bit of my story I have a few
>questions:
>
>
>1) What does reasonable visitation entitle me to in regards to
>visitation with my son?
>
>2)is there any resource area I can use to get my case
>started?
>
>3)is there any way to revisit the original divorce decree?
>
>I am committed to doing what is best for Ryan, and I feel he
>needs a strong relationship with his father.
>
>Thank you in advance for your help,
>
>
>Steve Connors
>


Reasonable visitation is whatever the two of you deem it to be. There is no set guidline. That is why a parenting plan is far better than just reasonable visitation. How many times would you say you have seen your son in the last year?

To get started you would have to file a request for modification. You can do this yourself, if you cannot afford an attorney. But, if you decide to then make sure you do your research thoroughly and be extra prepared when you attend the court hearing! Where was the original divorce decree signed? Where do you live now?
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[tulip]

You are going to have to take her to court. But before you do, take steps to show proof of her being unreasonable. You don't need to pay anyone $1500 to write a letter. Write her a letter yourself. Make a copy of it, and send it certified mail so you can prove she either recieved it or refused to receive it. Tell her what you want and why you think it is important for you and your son to build a closer relationship. Ask her to send you any information on his "special needs" condition so that you will be prepared to handle it. Tell her that since the two of you have not spent much time together (not for your lack of trying) you are willing to start with short visits and gradually increase the amount of time. If she has any valid reason for denying you the right to have a normal father/son relationship to please explain to you in writing what that is so that you can work through it.

I suggest that you take these steps before filing court papers so that you will be prepared to show the court that you are trying very hard to work things out without bothering them.Then she will be the one who has to explain why she is being so difficult.