Please help!

[angel]

Hi!

I realize this forum is supposed to be for the parent without physical custody, but I have no place else to turn.

A bit of background to help all out there understand where I'm coming from. My current DH of 2 yrs. has a physical custody-shared parenting plan with his ex/gf.  The ex/gf (BM) only has "Sam" in her home approximately 60 days a year however, by her choice. When she gets him for her visitation time, she sends him off to other relatives/friends, anyone whom she can get to watch him. She has no interest in his education, health habits such as bathing, brushing his teeth, homework, etc. She lost a chance at physical custody because of drug usage, and lack of mothering instinct. A guardian ad litem advised the court of what she saw.

Our current court arranged visitations for "Sam" with her are for the first 3 weekends a month. Past papers have stated that flexibility is supposed to be basically "understood" and is just accepted that both parents will be so.

DH has never turned his ex/gf down when she needed to arrange to have "Sam" on that 4th weekend rather than the first 3--she is still getting the same amount of time with him per month either way.

 DH has only asked for the alternate weekend on 3 occasions in two years.  His ex/gf on all 3 occasions has had her lawyer write a letter stating that we're "refusing to allow her previously arranged parenting time". He didn't bother to respond via our lawyer as it was ridiculous, and we feel goes to showing just how inflexible she is choosing to be, and as she had gotten "Sam" that last weekend anyway.

The reasons for the first two requests were extremely bad/icy road conditions in our area (we live 2 hrs from BM). This past wknd"Sam" expressed the desire to be able to stay here at home for Superbowl weekend, which unfortunately falls on the first weekend of the month. "Sam" called to ask his BM if it would be "ok" to switch the last weekend of this month for next weekend's visitation, and because she is angry at DH, she has refused.

So my question is--she was offered an alternate weekend, and will again be offered the last weekend of Feb. to make up for the Superbowl weekend, so is it unreasonable of us to just keep him here knowing that she was offered 2 alternate weekends to choose from?

"Sam" is 10 yrs old and VERy into football, and we're not trying to keep him from BM, just wanting a bit of the same flexibility from her that we show TO her. Could keeping him here get us into trouble? Thank you in advance.