Looking for information on ignorance of visitations

[tulip]

My skids have not had a normal visit with their bm in almost two years. She is a drug addict, a control freak, and has been emotionally and verbally abusive to them to the point that when she calls they have to be on speakerphone so that dh can supervise their conversations. The reason she hardly ever sees them is that she refuses to cooperate with the order of "supervised visits" and take the court ordered random drug tests. Yes, this is all her doing. She totally screwed up and lost almost all of her legal parental rights. That did not make the kids stop loving her. They are still to this day waiting and hoping for her to clean up her act and be a mother to them. I don't know if she ever will. But she will always be their mom. I raise them, do their laundry, cook for them, eat with them, and help them with their homework. They know that, and they will not love me less if their mom comes back into their lives. They know when she calls, and her family is allowed to see them whenever they ask. That is their flesh and blood, their heritage. The more people kids can have in their lives to love them, the better.

If you are just sitting their biding your time waiting for his to run out so you can snatch all his rights away, you better stop and think about how you are going to explain THAT to your son. If it's not dad's choice anymore, it's yours, and you will be the one preventing your son from having a relationship with his biological father. You better believe he is going to resent you greatly for it when he is old enough to see what's going on. He may not know that his family is calling for him and trying to see him now, because you are hiding it from him. But when he figures it out, no excuse is work. Whether dad has any legal rights or not, you are taking away that child's right to know his family. If you think moving and changing your phone number is going to wipe them out of his life, be ready for when he gets older and goes looking for them.