6 year old has cel phone to talk with CP during visitation time.

[416021va]

My State is Virginia, the child's State is Florida.

The CP bought the child a cel phone about a year ago so that CP could talk directly with the child without speaking to me and vice versa.

You might think that this is a good idea, and I did to. However, something has made me a bit uneasy about this. I could not quite put my finger on it, but CP seems to always have a deeper darker purpose then can be seen on the surface.

I do respect my child's privacy, but child always comes back to me feeling blue after talking to CP.

With my landline, I can at least document how many times CP has disturbed visitation per day.

Quite honestly, the child's cel phone does not seem to be condusive to "good visitation time" with me.

Do I have to continue to allow the child to use his cel phone during visitation time with me?

Thanks

[Ref]

I think it is perfectly acceptable to have "cell phone time". The phone remains off until say 5:30 pm. Then the child checks and returns calls. Make sure the child returns calls every day though, that way CP wont be kept from contact.

I think learning good cell phone manners is important too. No calls during meals, no calls after 8pm, no calls in stores or on public transport, return calls as soon as is appropriate.....

Be sure this is a fight you want with ex and that it really is that disruptive to you time.

Good Luck
Ref

[celeste]

Your house, your rules.  If the CP sent your child with a bike to ride...you control the amount of time the child rides the bike and how far the child can go.  CP can not rule the bike at your house.  I think it is the same thing for the cell phone.  Just because the child brings it to your house does not mean that the CP has control of the phone and when the child uses it.

Put it away until a certain time and then give it to her to call her mom.  The mom may want to say..."What if it's an emergency and I need to talk to her."  Uh...call the house.

[ocean]

I agree with the others. Do you have phone contact when child is with BM? (specific days?) I would just send her a certified letter that states when child will be calling (set days or right before bed every night?) and if child asks to call they may. Tell her the phone will be off at all other times and to use this alternate number to call for emergencies (house /cell). Then use caller-id :)

[awakenlynn]

Ex tried this with my SD when she was 10.  It was turned off and firmly put into my husband's closet.  We told his daughter that she was free to call mom anytime she wanted, but she had to use the house phone.

Ex is trying it again this year(daughter is 13).  I am still not thrilled and with the rules in my house it should just be put up again, but husband wasn't entirely happy.  So we compromised. Phone stays off when husband is not home (this keeps me out of the middle), phone goes on when husband is home, and the phone stays home when we go out.  If ex tries to abuse this, then phone stays permanently off.  Ex is still always welcome(sigh--not enthused) to call the house phone, but she still has limits.

We have already had trouble with the ex on this phone.  Conveniently the ringer 'broke' when daughter got to maternal grandparents.  I think it may just stay 'broken' during the visit.

[416021va]

Thanks all. BTW - If I don't or didn't say thanks to any of you, it is not because I don't appreciate what you say, its just that I post things and forget.

To keep you up to date, I have decided to put cel phone away and notify CP via certified mail that it will be put away.

Additionally, I notified CP that land line is available for use.

If you hadn't noticed, CP disseminated my unlisted number to people that I do not know (See Soc's forum).

I find that I have to be a "hardliner" as giving any wiggle room has always bitten me in the behind. I am not a "hardliner" to be mean, I just do it based on personal experience.

Thanks all!

[awakenlynn]

Good luck to you.  I know its hard at times, but can be worth it.  We do alot of our own work and then just have an attorney present in court.  With ex's attorney, it is a necessity, at least until I have my law degree.  We have done pro se though and won.  That was a true experience.