summer school???

[allajody]

dh suppose to have children eow during summer, court ordered...planned a vacation.  bm signed son up for scout camp and summer school (extra help).  sd doen't want to go without brother.  any recourse re: summer school.  the subject ss needs help in we could help.  no problem.  I and dh very frustrated but don't know what to do.  We will get kids only one week during this summer due to summer school and scout camp.  I am just frustrated dh doesn't want to force issue, but feels ex is not thinking of kids.  suggestions?

[ocean]

Your DH has to "force" the issue. I would send her a letter of intent (certified) stating that you will be following the court order. That you will be pick up children on XXX at this time XXX. If she does not allow them to come or they are not home, file a police report. If your court orders are clean cut about when you have them, they "may" help you get them. If not, they can at least giveyou a report that they were not there or BM is not allowing visit. Then you can go to court on contempt. If this vacation is a few weeks away, you can try to get to court now, to allow them to go on vacation. I would try the letter first and then see how she reacts. Good luck!

[MixedBag]

If son needs extra help in a certain subject, gather opportunities for son to get that help in YOUR area beyond the two of you to show you two could have supported that need for the child.

EX is not thinking of the kids totally and sorry, but court is the only way to force the issue if they don't come.

Another option would be to get EX to agree to make-up time.

When?

Every Thanksgiving break, the entire Christmas break, and Every Spring break until an equal (or more) number of days are made up at her expense (if this increases transportation costs tremendously).

[notnew]

I'd file ex-parte contempt based on her refusal to adhere to the schedule.

She has informed you that she intends to violate the order in advance. You should be able to take that into court and have something done about it.

If the summer school is not required to get the child to pass the last grade, then it is just something she is doing to interfere with the visitation and the court should see it that way.

Same as Scout camp. If he wants to go to camp, why couldn't you guys sign him up for something while you had him (i don't know how long you are supposed to have him).

If she has him for the bulk of the summer and signed him up AFTER she knew about your vacation dates, then she is in contempt plain and clear.

I don't think you need to give her any more chances, just take it to court.

Not legal advice, just my opinion.

Good luck - if it doesn't work go on the vacation anyway. Don't let her spoil your good time. I know ss will be unhappy, but that is NOT your fault.

[MixedBag]

since I saw in your other post that they are 8 & 10.

Scout camp is M-F isn't it?

and summer school at age 10?

If he normally has them EOW, then you guys are too far apart, right?

What kind of time do the kids get with their dad every summer?
(notice I flipped that around to the KIDS get time with their dad).

[allajody]

The kids are to have time with their dad every other week during the summer and yes we live 3 1/2 hrs apart.  So its not a simple we will pick and drop off at school.  Plus we to are a "mixed" family of your's, mine and ours although we say ours.  We have 7 children between us and my husband (and I agree) doesn't see how staying upset or p.o. helps the rest of the family, it is just hard.
I just can not comprehend how someone could be so selfish in not giving the kids time with their dad.  
I understand not wanting anything to do with the ex and yes it would be sooooo much easier, but it isn't suppose to be about us.  My children need their father and it is important to them.  (even though I bite my tongue quite often when they tell me what their dad said)  I just let them know I will alway's love them no matter what.