visitation order question

[tessie]

original court order was set at the last weekend of every month to accomodate dads work schedule. driving is split.

 Parents live 4 hours from each other, and mom has a history of moving every two years. especially seeming when ever dad has attempted more involvment. this last 4 hour distance created by mom, 2 years ago. after parents lived 45 minutes from each other.

mom went to court in her new state,to revisit child support and visitation. Claimed children wanted more time with dad. asked for one weekend in dads state and one weekend in her state, with dad doing all the driving on her state weekend. she changed the alternate holidays to one day, and asked for no school holidays and summer break time.

the judge ordered mediation but then turned around two days later and made the final order.

the judge disregarded dads revised plan that asked for 3 day weekends every month, and alternate holiday weekends, and alternate holiday breaks and summer holiday time. Dad also accomadated the driving distance.

Since inception of moms plan, she has denied christmas and easter- (easter is pending, they said they are not coming yesterday) because the kids don't want to come for one day, and the kids denied his last visit at thier state because they did not want to spend it in a hotel. the 16 year old oldest, has not been to the fathers home since sept. 2006.

the relationship with the kids has become very strained since dec. mom seems to be feeding them alot of information that is untrue, and has told the kids they get to decide if they want to see thier father(they are 16,14 and 11)


As there are 6 more years of court order left, the father wonders how much he should push for visitation as the older children are becoming more and more resentful of having to visit him. The mother monitors all phone conversations also.

as visitation was always made difficult by mom, dads assertion is her asking for one more visit a month in her state was some sort of sympathy ploy, for the child support portion. (of which the father has no problem paying what is deemed fair) its just very strange someone who continually denied court ordered summer vacation time and more weekends than we could count, would go to court asking for another weekend. I don't think she expected him to take them?.....

the father appealed the courts decision for not following through with mediation, but it went to the SAME judge and was denied. It is now headed to the state supreme court, meanwhile the mother is busy playing games, and the fathers lawyer is sitting on her hands about contempt, for the missed visits since the new order, claiming she is busy with the supreme court. and its going to cost alot of money (no kidding? but what else can he do?)


All we want to know is this customary? it could be many more months before the supreme court hears this case. And meanwhile the relationship becomes more damaged.

is it to late in the game for a GAL for the children? should he be asking for family counseling? Or is his lawyer correct in just waiting for it to be seen by the supreme court?

[FatherTime]

I'm sorry that I don't have an answer for you.

I can only say that I know the feelings that you and he may be feeling.  I have time taken from me on a regular basis.  Court orders seem to only address issues for the custodial parent.  A means to arrest a non-complying non-custodial parent.  There is no muscle for enforcement of parenting time for a non-custodial parent.  I tried to get the other parent brought up on contempt charges, which were clear and evident.  I only lost 15 minutes of time on all of my subsequent wednesdays, because my daughter was not getting enough sleep.  No contempt for her mother for denying me holiday time.  

Good luck with the Supreme Court.

Have the teenagers check out my website.  There are songs on their that may help you to get a message across to them.  Please suggest one, if there's a song that you think I should add to the list.

http://www.geopics.net/fathertime

FatherTime

[MixedBag]

EX#3 appealed a decision to the supreme court.  Sit down.

It took 4 years for them to answer.  Meanwhile, he could not submit any other motion to the local court for contempt.  I'm not kidding.  EX#3 lost an entire Christmas vacation, wanted to file contempt.  So his attorney asked that the case be remanded back to the local court (THAT took 6 months for the Supreme Court to do and approve.)  

Then that issue was brought to the court.  Court refused to HEAR the issue and it was something about that it had to be something that would cause the first subject to be found in EX#3's favor.  So back it went to the supreme court.

So I my personal experience watching EX#3's case, he can't file for contempt while his case is under appeal.

Read "Divorce Poison" -- wonderful book on what is really going on when a child(ren) are pulling away from the NCP (doesn't matter if it's mom or dad), and how to counter that. (and when to let go).

What else can he do?  Did he really appeal the decision because there was no mediation?  If that's true, IMHO, I'd tell the attorney to drop that case.  Mediation is not binding.

And I'd be working on getting the court to hear and approve all that other stuff you mentioned.  

By appealing, Dad has effectively tied the local courts' hands and he can't ask for anything else to get done, period.

Again, IMHO.....

[Samson2005]

there is case law and a finding by the supreme court that a case took too long to decide and should have been given priority and a speedier trial. I looked for the case in my collection but must have deleted it. The case is still on the books, no less.  your lawyer should be able to get that information easily.

[MixedBag]

BUT unless it is a NV case, it can't be quoted.

Attorney quoted some out of state cases to prove a point and stated that there was no case law in NV that existed for part of the appeal.  Forgot what subject that was connected to.

As far as NV Supreme court goes, "They were just that behind"....

And it's all done and over with for now -- and since it's EX#3's problem, and he's an EX, it's no longer my concern.

Yes, feels good to let go of all that crapola!