PLEASE HELP! No time on birthday visitation

[fathersrights]

I have visitation this weekend.  It is my daughter's birthday on Saturday and it is her mother's turn to have her.  The judgement states no times as to how long the birthday visitation is.  Mother emailed me that she will get her 9am to 8pm.  How are we supposed to set a time.  She will argue with me as she thinks she is the ruler of everything.

On a Father's Day 3 years ago there was no time set either.  She forced me to talk into a tape recorder that I would bring her back at 3pm.  I was picking her up at 9am.  I said no.  She refused to give her to me.  I went to the polie and they said they can't do anything.  Can I do the same thing to her now since there are no times?

Thanks for any help, advice, or if this has happened to you before.  I am in CA by the way.

[MixedBag]

is there any other holiday defined in the order that's only one day long which will set the precedence?

The police can't enforce the order.  Only family court can.

Many parents think they "rule" when it comes to divorce and stuff.

Pick and choose your battles -- since Father's day was 3 years ago, what have you done on other holidays since then?  That gives you guidance as well.

You can ask the courts to clarify when start and ending times are for stuff like this to get it added to the order.

But I would not make the mistake of not letting Mom have the birthday if that part is clear in the order.....don't do like she did to you.

[Crockpot]

What does your court order say exactly?  Since you have her for the weekend you have the upper hand.  Maybe try and make this an example of how you both should handle the same situations in the future.  If mom agrees to 9am to 3pm for b-day you carry that to other similar days (Fathers and Mothers day).  And have it added to your CO.

We had a similar issue.  BM wanted 8am to 8pm if b-day fell on DH time.  Yeah, that's fair.    

[mistoffolees]

If the agreement doesn't say anything, getting into a fight over it is likely to be a lot of lost energy with little benefit. I'd suggest to her that since she defined 9 am to 3 pm as an appropriate level of visitation last Father's Day that it would be appropriate now. Or, tell her that if she insists on 9 am to 8 pm that this will be expected in all future visitation like Father's Day.  If she argues about it, why fight? You have the daughter on Sunday.

Seems like a relatively minor issue to create world war III over.