Frustrated with this parenting time specialist... GRRRRRR

[superdad01]

Ok, so in our order it clearly states that both parties have 3 non-consecutive weeks of vacation time with child for use at any time during the year.

When we came to this agreement the child was not school age.

Now the child is in school and the mother says I cannot have her while she is in school. She gives me this bs excuses and I say the order says what it says. The last couple times I just blew her off and forgot about it.

Well I attempted again to get our child for a week during school (because I was off work) and would have been able to take her to school and pick her up... etc.

Mom again says no, and says go ahead and file your complaint... SO I did. I actually typed up a paper stating I was denied and I was avaible to take child to school et. Finally after 5 days they get back to me, and I tell her all the information and what the court order says etc. She puts me on hold and calls mother.

She then told me that mother said I was going to take her on vacation and take her out of school and out of state, etc... I said this is false... "it even says on the complaint I filed in your office that I would be taking her to and from school.  She politely brushed me off as she always does and says well next time it happens.... you guys know the rest.

Does anyone else have this type of foc person that they have to deal with? It seems everytime I have an issue with the mother VIOLATING the court order it is always "NEXT TIME SHE DOES IT CONTACT ME"

[MixedBag]

I too have/had a line that said "one week to include Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Easter that alternates" and when school didn't give our son a week break, I wrote and said I wanted the whole week anyways and that I would take our son to school and then back south with me home.

EX pitched a fit and got son convinced he didn't want to do this.  I agreed through our son and counselor to make up time in the summer and then took it.

So...

Why can't you file a "Motion for Clarification" or Contempt (depending on the angle you want to go and ask the court either to clarify your order and whether or not you're within your rights to take a week where the child is in school and you're willing to take her back and forth.  

Or contempt -- since the order doesn't say you can't do this, gave notice, and mother denied.

I guess I wouldn't settle for a phone call response from the court -- get the complaint and results documented in your case file.

All is not lost though -- there's still time for your child to have 3 weeks with you this year.

[superdad01]

How would I go about getting the complaint documented. I filled out the document stating what happened and what the order specifically states as well as her refusing to follow it. Hell I even got a voice recording of the phone call between myself and the mother.

Yea I know I can get another week with her but it's just the point that mom went out of her way to block my week with our daughter.

I have all the holidays etc included in my order as well as an additional 3 weeks of parenting time throughout the year. I have everthing that someone who has full joint physical custody has except the required number of overnights.

[gamma]

Are you in Mi, sounds like it to me. Anyhow several things here. Not sure if your aware or not but in Mi you need both party's permission to record phone convo's. Is mom aware your recording, did you tell her you were, did she give permission? You can't use that phone recording if you did not get her permission, it is is illegal, and you should not be bringing that up to the court.

FOC, everything you do with them must be in writing. You said you did this in writing to them. Process for them is to then investigate and make a recommendation in writing. Not over the phone. Not sure what you put in your letter to them though. You must be specific, you must ask them to investigate, you must state the other party is in contempt of the order. But they have to reply back with their recommendation in writing. Even if it is just to deny this even being looked into.

There is a process, everything FOC does is only a recommendation, each party has the right to object. Process not followed, you can't object. So something didn't go right here.

My suggestion, either write FOC again, asking for an investigation into  her contempt of the order. Or file directly with the court. You don't have to go through FOC, you can file directly with the court. You will get a hearing date when you file, and it will be before a Ref or Judge, most often a Ref. Refs to only make recommendations, and those can be objected to also.

Now standard in Mi, is that you get 2 or 3 weeks of summer vacation. Your order is not specific, but I am betting they will change it to read summer. Standard also is for each party to have their agreed vacation weeks into FOC by x date each year. That is always fun trying to get the other parent to agree to your vacation weeks, and often both want the same weeks.

However most often the court will actually side with the non primary residential parent for this. They usually get first dibs. So anyhow, since your order is not real specific, well worth getting it cleared up a bit, however you could lose getting vacation time during school year, but your not actually get it anyway. Court gives you during school year vacation time, for holidays and there are plenty during the school year, Thanksgiving, Christmas, winter break, spring/easter break. I assume here you do some kind of rotation of these holidays. But I would get that order to have a process of these vacation times being set up, and be set up in advance.

[MixedBag]

I'm not familiar with MI procedures in detail and how working with the FOC works and stuff.  But that's how you get your complaint documented is through the court system and it's process.

Sounds like you already took the proper step by filing a written complaint, and you got an answer via phone call???  as opposed to an order???

[gamma]

That is not the proper step by FOC, they must answer a written complaint in writing or on court record. Something is not right here, either he didn't do his written complaint correctly or this FOC office failed to follow procedure. I'm not sure what he wrote to FOC but if he asked for this to be looked into or said mom was in contempt, then they must do this either in writing or through a hearing, not by phone.