My SD's big night

[DMcD]

Oh, I can't tell you how lovely she was. It was her JROTC military ball. I spent the entire day getting her ready. I got her make-up, hair accessories, dress, shoes, etc. I even took her in to have her nails done. I did her hair and make-up and drove her there. She was so nervous. I don't think she has ever been to a school dance before. She certainly doesn't dress up. At least, not that I have ever seen. I just can't tell you how great it was to do these things for her and let her be a little more normal than her mom has allowed her to be. She just kept saying, "I feel like a GIRL." She didn't look like a girl. She looked like a young woman. I hope she has fun. I have to pick her up in a few minutes, but I am just so very happy that she got to do this and that I was able to share it with her. I'm just so very proud of her!:7

[MKx2]

Isn't sharing those special things just SO much fun?  Be it bio or step, it is a thrill ...

I' so tickled you and SD were  able to share that, and I hope she had a WONDERFUL time ....

(Hope ya took some pics so Daddy will be able to share the pride!)

[DMcD]

Took lots of pictures. She was just radiant. And it really was a thrill. I think I was more excited than SD was! She's a little closed mouthed about what happens at school or other activities, but she did say that she had a good time and watched the Lakers get creamed LOL. She ate pizza until she was ready to barf and hung out with her friends.   If I didn't know better, I would have to say that she was just a regular 'ol high school girl who went to a dance. As each day passes, I see more and more that the kids will be fine. They still have some problems, but those problems are fading little by little. My friend suggested that I email PBFH with pictures and ask, "doesn't OUR little girl look great!" LMAO, I think she would have a screaming conniption fit!!

[joni]

and I live vicariously through your moment and hope to have it some day.  We're working out a new visitation plan and the evil BM put in it that even if it's our weekend, if there's a special event like a dance or a recital, the BM gets the child before hand to dress and get ready.  Like we're so insignificant that my DH or myself isn't entitled to enjoy those moments as well???

[MKx2]

As a BM and SM, I ride the fence on that issue to a small degree ... it's sorta like not being the one to see the first steps of your child for a BM or BD.

At the same time, both NCP and CP should have the joy and privilege of taking part in these special events.  I suspect far fewer Bd's would EVER write that sort of thing into an agreement.

How unfeeling and small of you PBFH-BM!

Just remember it's only "her reality."  (Even though it still hurts.)

(((((((Joni))))))

[TX]

As a SM and BM, I have to agree that CP and NCP need to share special moments that the child experiences. I write that if the both parents are an active part in the childs life. I look back and realize how many mistakes my husband and I made with his kids and mine. The "evil" BM was so maniplutive everything was a battle.  I should of been a much better person then battle back. At the time, I didn't think it was a battle, I did what I thought needed to be done. I read so many posts and it brings back so many memories. I had someone tell me when the children were little that they will be grown before you know it and everyone was going to lose out with all the battling going on. They were right. I bought every book and was determined to be a good step-mother when we first married. Well, books aren't reality and the situations and feelings we all go through in blended families are trying and difficult. I have learned that I can't understand the thinking or reason behind someone like their Mother. I've seen the harm that PAS does and I wish I knew about it 15 years ago. I have grown to realize that I should of let the children be. After all, they were just children that were caught up in hurt, anger and confused adults. I read a article once that made me realize how I didn't want my step-children to remember me and I disengaged myself. It was the best thing I could of done. Yes, it's nice we as step-moms can dress them for dances and be there for special moments. In all reality, if the biological parents are alive and part of their lives, in their hearts and minds they want them there. It's a true reality that hurts as a step-parent.

[wendl]

OH D sounds like she had a wonderful time, I am so glad you were able to share this with her, I'm sure it meant alot to her as well.

Glad you took lots of pictures.