Rant!

[forthekids24]

I just don't get it!  How could anyone treat their children like this?  

BM moved away from SD's more than 3 months ago now.  

BM takes the kids on her scheduled times (complains to the kids on how she HATES driving so far to pick them up), but she doesn't call that often in between.

She has not talked to the kids in more than a week now.  Last time she didn't call them for 2 weeks straight!  Sometimes when she does call she only speaks to OSD, she never asks to talk to YSD.

SD's are actually doing great without seeing their mom mid week anymore!  OSD is on the Honor Roll for the first time ever and YSD has brought her grades up too!

OSD is getting her Honor Roll award at school tonight.  I am fairly certain that BM will not drive down to see it.  But of course it will be DH's fault that she wasn't there even though we have now told her 3 times about it....  (BTW OSD has not asked to call her mom and tell her about her report card or the awards ceremony).  
1) I sent BM an email a few weeks ago with the link to the school web site so she could see that they were having an awards ceremony,
2) DH sent her an email with a copy of the invitation that went home last week to the awards ceremony, and
3) the date has been on the school calendar since the beginning of the school year.

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!   It just speaks volumes to me how much she really cares... and SD's are seeing it too!

It just kills me to see her treat her children like this.  

On a positive SM note though, when we went to pick up SD's from their moms house after Christmas (they had been away for just over a week), OSD came running out of the house and almost knocked me over with a hug!  That is the first time in a loooooonnnnng time that OSD has hugged me or even spoken more than a few words to me in front of her mom.  Made my YEAR that she is finally comfortable enough to do that!

Okay, done now.
Thanks for reading.

[kiddosmom]

What is it with BM's? There are terror on wheels when they are CP, when they become NCP they freak worse then they were and do not pay cs, stop visiting. Sheesh Thank Heaven I never acted that way, my mother would have been so ashamed if I had.

[forthekids24]

I just don't get it either.

She was always the NCP, but had 40% time since she lived close by.  Always dropped the kids off with her parents, anything to keep them away from DH and I.  (She abandoned them when YSD was 2 months and OSD was 2 years old... disappeared, didn't resurface until she heard through the grapvine that DH and I were dating.  She was gone for 3 months!)  Then she didn't want anything to do with YSD... still doesn't really.

DH tried to talk to her about CS after she moved... she has them 25% of the time now... DH got laid off too... her reaction "I will NEVER pay ANYTHING for MY kids, you will have to take me to court to get any money out of me".... so DH marched his happy butt to Dept. of Child Support and opened a case against her.  LOL... showed her!

I think they should make you pass a test before you have kids.

I guess I am done..... for now.

[Peanutsdad]

My ex said the same exact thing,, that she would not EVER pay a dime in cs.

Funny thing is, when she WAS the CP, I had to fight in court simply to BE in my daughters life. I paid the ordered support on time,, every time.

After six months of going to court, custody changed, and shes decided she would rather let her life go down the tubes than pay cs. She quit her job of 3 yrs with SBC union shop no less,, got her vehicle repossessed and is about to lose her home.

Do I understand it? Not one bit.

[mom4good]

My Dh ex is ncp and says that b/c she doesn't have custody, that it is not her responsibility to pay cs. She said that Sd has Bf and Sm to pay for her and b/c our combined income is more that hers, she shouldn't have to pay. SHe quits jobs when cse finds her and garnishes wages. I agree with equal rights to the children. The problem is that Non custodial BM are not treated the same b/c they know where she is at and she still has 9,000. in arrears. A nc bf would be in jail by now. Oh well, at least we have the children. Nothing can compare to that.

[Dibella2]

DH's BM pays absolutely no child support either.  Never has and he has the kids 9.5 months out of the year.  She only works part-time and claims she does so so that she can spend time with her kids. ?????????????????????????????????????  Yet, she says that she can ONLY take them for visitation on Tuesday's.  ??????????????????  We're in the process now of court and awaiting the final decision from the judge....

[forthekids24]

I just knew it!!  DH got an email from BM late last night whining about her not knowing when the awards ceremony was.  She is all pissed off she missed it.   Her husband and her mother attended ( Which was nice, SD's were happy to see them). But this tells me she is capable of reading and did finally see the information before the awards ceremony.

DH replied to her and reminded her of the SEVERAL times that we had sent her the school schedule, calendars etc and... my favorite part of his reply " I am not going to be blamed because of your inability to take an interest in your children's school activities, and actually use the information provided to you."... it has been on the school calendar since the first day of the school year!  I guess she just won't be happy unless DH calls her and reads the information to her that he sends her. Or reminds her repeatedly. ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!  

If it was sooo damn important to her, and she is so pissed of she missed it, then WHY didn't she call the kids last night to talk to them, WHY didn't she leave a message at the house so they got it when they got home from the ceremony... heck ..... why didn't she tell her husband to have the kids call her on HIS cell phone when he was standing next to them after the ceremony??  Guess it really wasn't that important now was it?

She is now going on 9 days without speaking to the kids.  Not the longest, but still it would kill me not to speak to my kids this long!

I am not surprised, just still don't get it......

Thanks for all the replies, it is nice to know that I am not alone in this.