Huge long story....

[lucky]

I don't know how many of you remember (I can't even remember how much detail I posted if any) but we've been having severe, serious behavioral problems with our 10 yo ds for a long time.

We switched counselors about a year ago due to lack of ANY progress.  At the time, he was diagnosed ADHD and ODD.   We're still with that counselor.

He was on Ritalin and Clonidine (to take care of tics caused by Ritalin).  In May we tried Strattera -- what a scary thing.  It was like he wasn't taking anything at all and I give his teacher so much credit for working with us and dealing with him during that time.  During that time, she also agreed to be his teacher again this year since she was switching grades.

In June, we switched back to the Ritalin.  During the summer, ds became increasingly belligerent, angry, oppositional, etc.  (Get out your thesaurus and pick your synonym).  The therapist grew increasingly worried about the safety of our family and ds.  During the summer, we worked on getting a full evaluation done on ds at the hospital, which is where his psychiatrist practices.  We finally got it scheduled for 9/12/03.  The evaluation was finally done on 10/23/03 -- two hours of interviews, 3 hours of testing and BASC plus one other questionnaire to the parents and one teacher -- (after four attacks on dh that included police calls and one ER visit because ds wouldn't calm down).

He was diagnosed with Depressive Disorder NOS, ADHD Combined Type, ODD, Probable Adjustment Disorder with Mixed Disturbance of Emotions and Conduct and Phonological Disorder.  He was prescribed Zyprexa and Celexa in addition to the Ritalin and Clonidine.  Did I mention that there is a family history of Bi-Polar (including juvenile onset in at least one member) in dh's family?

There had been "minor" attacks on dh by ds, but nothing seriously life threatening or injurious.  On 9/18/03, ds stabbed dh in the back with a mechanical pencil.  Fortunately, it was not a knife or he'd have gotten dh's kidneys.  That was the beginning of the serious attacks on dh that ds made.  The police were called about every 3 out of 4 weeks from that date through about mid-December.  They took ds to the hospital on three occassions, but no one would admit him for more than 24-48 hours (with no evaluation) and that would have had to be anywhere from 1.5 to 3 hour drives away from home.  We chose not to admit him since he wouldn't get any help and it was so far away.

We got set up with the Children's Mental Health Unit of our county's social services in August.  To date, they have talked a lot of bullshit and the only services offered was two days of respite foster care per month.  We've been able to use only 1 day of the respite care and that was back in November.  When we opened the case, they had a copy of the recommendation for a 30 day in-patient evaluation about 60 miles from us that the therapist had made and the psychiatrist supported.  They felt that we just needed family counseling.

So we set up family counseling with a therapist who works in the same clinic as ds's therapist.  That began in early November (we had to wait for the insurance referral process to happen after social services FINALLY made their decision -- they did a great job of dragging their feet).  She says that we've come a long way and that she feels we are handling ds and his behavior in appropriate ways and that we are doing the best we can do.  

From mid-December until last week, we had no real problems.  Last week, ds flipped out again and the police were called.  The cops said that they wanted to talk to the social worker and tell them to do something because ds is too young to arrest, but they are tired of coming here and they are afraid that one of these times something TRULY HORRIBLE is going to happen before they get here.

This week the family counselor recommended to social services that ds get a long-term (30 day type) in-patient evaluation.  She stated that the behavior that ds is displaying reminds her of bi-polar and he needs to have a more comprehensive evaluation done to find out what is going on.

The individual therapist hasn't seen ds since the beginning of January (when things were okay) because their schedulers screwed up not once, but TWICE!! They scheduled us for MLK day, but "forgot" to call and reschedule when their office decided to close that day (I schedule 2-3 months out) and they scheduled this weeks appt. for 4:00pm instead of the 5:00pm that I have a "standing reservation" for.  So we missed that one too.  However, the individual therapist apparently feels that he's seen ds enough recently to now recommend that ds go to a therapeutic foster home for 30 days to give us all a break instead of a 30 day in-patient evaluation.

Today, the social workers staffed it.  Guess what they decided?  NO PLACEMENT of ANY kind.  But, they were generous enough to offer the services of mentors -- that the county does not pay for because they are local college students that are required to do that type of "work" for one of their required courses AND they were generous enough to continue to offer the two days per month respite foster care and they'd "check into" four days.  (But don't hold your breath.)

Unbelievable, right?  I asked our social worker if they were waiting for ds to kill someone before they'd actually help us like they were supposed to be doing.  He told me that he didn't understand why I would ask a question like that.

Anyway, knowing that social services weren't going to do a damn thing, I had dh call the Dept. of Psychiatry and Psychology at the Mayo Clinic.  The doctor we'd been referred to wasn't going to be in for a few months, but the person who answered the phone asked dh several questions to determine what we were looking for.  Then she gave dh a different doctor's name (still with the Mayo) and said she'd call back shortly.  

When they called back, they told dh that they were very concerned with the behaviors ds was displaying and that he needed to get off the meds and start fresh.  Dh told them that we agreed, however, we CANNOT handle him off all meds at home -- we can't handle him safely ON meds -- and he IS worse without the meds.  They told him that they understood, however, there is a waiting list for in-patient.  They said they wanted to put ds on the waiting list but have us come in on an out-patient basis for an evaluation anyway.  They want this appointment to happen within the next two weeks.  They also said that if ds flips out again, to call the police and take ds to the hospital.  We believe that (possibly) they are saying this because then we tell the local hospital that we have an apppt. with the Mayo and perhaps they'll transfer him there and that way we will bypass the waiting list.  That's what we're hoping anyway.

Anyway, that's the story on ds.  I won't go into my dd and you already know something about osd (who IS moving to the aunt's house this weekend).

Please keep us in your prayers.  We NEED the Mayo to take him -- badly.  They are the only ones willing to help us and the only "professionals" besides the cops and our family therapist who seem to actually CARE.

I have to admit, it's a huge load off my shoulders just having the Mayo staff be in such a hurry to see him.  Finally, after six months of struggling to get help, we've found someone willing to help.  And as soon as we have an appointment, the case with social services is getting closed and ALL information releases are going to have a letter revoking them sent to the holders of those releases.  They can kiss my ass!

[MixedBag]

You've got mail.

[Sunshine1]

You've got mail. :)

[DMcD]

Wow, you have your hands full. You and your family are in my prayers and I hope that Mayo will help you and your son. I know the feeling of knowing something is wrong and trying to do something - anything - to fix it and end up just spinning your wheels. I'm going through a similar situation on a far more minor scale. Keep working on it and I'm sure you will persist and perservere. Good luck and God bless.