Re: PBFH

[happy2bstepmom]

Okay Its been a while since I have been onhere.  Anyway, My stepdaughter moved in with us back in November.  Well she is still with us, but her mom is driving me crazy.  She calls almost everyday.  She doesn't have a job, and calls us about money almost daily as well.  At first I was taking the calls and just talking to her, but it is getting really old.  We haven't started turning the ringer off on the phone.  She has been known to call me around 6 times a day and ask the same question about money.  My husband is starting to get very depressed.  He says he is very glad that his daughter is with him finally, but he can't even enjoy her for her mom.  It seems as you can't win for losing in this situation and it is very sad.  I need some help with this.  Also the OAG said we have to have her for 6 months before he can quit paying his exwife.  Why are we sending her current child support when we have her?  My husband says the only way to make this stop is for him to die.  I know it sounds immature of him to say, and I wouldn't EVER want anything to happen to him, but he has a point.  HELP!!

[hotforjimmy]

Is there a CO saying child is to live with you? If not you need to go back to court and file for custody of child. CS cannot just stop as long as there is a current CO.

[happy2bstepmom]

No there is no CO saying child lives with us.  I live in Texas, and according to the Office of the Attorney General, child must live with us for 6 months.  But my questions is what to do about BM.  She won't quit calling.  I don't currently at this time have any bill collectors calling, but she is worse.  She is driving me crazy.  She calls, now your gonna send CS on the 15th right?  NExt day, your gonna send it right?  You promise?  Next day, Im gonna spend this much money, because your gonna send me CS right?  Now if you don't send it then I will have hot checks, so your gonna send it right??  IM ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND...
We can't tell her to quit calling, but just don't mention $$$...anyway, any insights would be great.  Sometimes wording means all the difference.
Thanks Renae

[Peanutsdad]

You can always do what I did with an aggravating ex,, I blocked her number AFTER warning her this was getting excessive.

The other option, is turn off the ringer, or install a "deaf" ringer,, essentially, a light that lights up when the phone rings,, look at caller id, and dont pick up

[nosonew]

1.  Get the kids their own phone line, and give that number to her so she can call it to speak with them.
2. Get one of those phones you can program the ringer to ring a certain way if her number is on caller id.  Then you know to let the answering machine pick up.

Or just get some good ear plugs!  Just wait out your 6 months, I know it seems like a long time, and then go to court, get the residential custody changed via c.o., (I don't understand why you have to wait 6 months if she agrees to the change), and then YOU call her every day 10x daily to see if she is paying HER child support to you!!!  (Just kidding, but you can fantisize about it!)  Grin and bear it, you're lucky, you have the kids, and it will soon be over.

[Peanutsdad]

Thats an easy answer ,, prior to six months,, she still has total control,, AND the cs. If she gets even an inkling that its gonna stop,, you can bet yer grannys false teeth she'll yank kids back so fast it'll make yer head spin.

[Gordianknot]

This is what I'd do in your shoes...since you've had the child in your physical custody since November.  I'd petition for, at a minimum, for temporary custody without giving her a heads up.  If the court states that you are to continue paying child support then so be it but the harassment for CS payments needs to stop.  I'd look into what constitutes harassment via phone in your state and then apprise her.

I'd write her a certifed letter stating that you will pay CS by a certain time of the month so if she continues to call six times a day, you will seek relief from the court on her harassment.  I'd document all her phone calls for this sole purpose.

When she calls I'd simply ask her, "Are you calling for stepdaughter?"  If not, then inform her that you are ending the phone conversation and then do it.

I cannot see why a court wouldn't grant your husband temporary custody based off BMs willingness to allow her to physically stay with you since Nov...there is a set precedence now.  What reasonable argument could BM bring to court to counter a temporary custody position now?