newbie here

[kelly563]

I have been with my BoyF for 5 years....he has 5 kids and his X is a PBFH. She is THE most conniving, scheming person I have ever come across in my 40 years. This woman has gotten away with more bullsh*t than I ever imagined possible.....and a few things happened recently that really ticked me off.  

#1. BoyF's son (12) was EXPELLED from the middle school. BM told Dad about the 10-day suspension(pulled the fire alarm).....but did not tell him about the expulsion.... (she just led Dad to believe that she was going to homechool the boy...and the kids were instructed not to breathe a word) until after all was said and done. BM declined to attend the REQUIRED expulsion meeting. This results in giving up all/any rights for her, the child and DAD!!   Dad finally gets wind of all this (in a letter from BM) and immediately calls the school. The school blows him off like bad habit....citing they cannot discuss this matter with him as he is not on ANY school forms for the boy (not even emergency)...so they cannot release any info. Last year Dad and BM had same problems at the elementary school...(court proceedings fixed that problem)....but BM does same thing this year when the boy was registered for middle school? What....court orders mean nothing?? Apparently to her they don't! So....now Dad is fighting to get the boy back into school, charter school, or alternative school....and having a h*ll of a time doing it.  

#2. Last year the boy was suspended 5 times for stealing. The police were involved, etc. The final time the boy was caught he was here at our house with an expensive electronic item that we knew could in no way belong to him! Dad called BM....who broke down crying and replied "let me handle this at home....please don't tell the school....they are gonna take him to juvenile hall."  Dad gets the name of the juvvy officer and calls the police dept. This cop gets on the phone....Dad ends up at the police station with the boy. Cop pulls 4 police reports on the boy for stealing at school. On all 4 police reports BM has stated that "the boys father is a deadbeat, uninterested father who is vitrually non-existent."  Mind you....we live 5 mins apart..he has NEVER missed his CS nor his parenting time! The cop calls th BM and makes her come down to the station....wants to question her about falsifying a police report. It's ugly....and all parties proceed to the school. In the principals office Dad then becomes aware  that the boy has been put on medication because he has been diagnosed with ADD.... only because the PRINCIPAL asks the BM how the meds are working!!!! So...the child wasn't even getting the meds correctly....cause BM NEVER sent any meds with the boy on the weeknds or during the 10 days he was here for spring break or for the 5 days he was here for easter weekend!  Can you imagine how pissed Dad was?????  It was ugly, ugly, ugly.

And this is just the in the last 10 months!! BoyF also has 4 girls.....so you can imagine the bullsh*it!

Here is my dilema.......I really want to help this boy. We know all about the FERPA laws and BoyF has given me written permission to talk with the school, school board, etc., whatever is necessary. It's just easier for me as he works long hours....and can't always be here during business hours to take care of this. Will his written permission matter? The school knows me, my daughter attends the same school....and I am your basic nosy parent when it comes to my children...LOL!  

[wendl]

My dh works during times when he cannot contact his childrens school, what we did was gave the school a copy of the court order showing dh has equall access to all records and then dh typed a letter giving the school permission to discuss the children with me (stepmom) school was really good and it the school sec was a god send. We also requested that dh be put on the emergency contact list as well as myself as I can always be reached.

I would also have your dh get the childs medical records this may cost you some $$ but it it nice to know what things have been going on.

[purrrfectgirl]

I've been involved with my hubby's children's school since the children's grades started slipping.  I have never had to have any sort of permission slip, the teachers talk with me freely.  But if that's not the case in the school of your step-chilren, then I think a permission slip from BF should work, but I could see ex (if she's really nasty) going to court and getting it stopped because you're not really a step-parent.  Best of luck to you.