Dilema. Need advice.

[4honor]

DH and I are in a position to go for custody of SS. He is 13 and is "normal" for his age as far as development goes. BUT SS has been physically abusive to his younger brothers. DS1 and DS2 are 6 (nearly 7) and 5 respectively. SS has taken to demanding DS1 and DS2 take their pants down so he can spank them whenever they upset him in the least ~ from not sharing with each other, to going into his room without his permission. he also grabs DS1 around the throat (leaving hand prints) every time he is here. We don't allow him to play alone with the younger two any more, but he keeps sneaking upstairs when we are otherwise distracted. Have also caught SS with a new interest in fire.

SS's older brother (abusive in the past) moved home with his mother and has not seen his own father since last May. He is 16 (17 in September.)

I believe PBFH would loose custody of SS if we were to pursue, but I am not sure I want SS in our home any more than he currently is, as I see the pulling down pants  and the pyromania as a HUGE red flag.

PBFH was ordered to take SS to counseling. DH has insurance that covers the first 5 sessions of any issue at 100% (FREE) and she still has not taken him... as she says she cannot afford it. Yep, you heard me right, cannot afford to take him to a free appointment.

Can someone help me with a link to sexual abuse red flags (just wanna know how far off the track I am in thinking it)?

And any advice on this?

[MixedBag]

Hopefully, shortly, you will have mail.

[4honor]

deleted

[Kitty C.]

:-)

[4honor]

I got from Mixed and sent to your email.