trouble with visitation

[thirdwife]

 My husband has recently been denied summer visitation with his 4 yr old. They verbally worked out a schedule since his move from ga, but now it has been changed back to the divorce decree. which is very difficult to do every other weekend when you live 14 hrs away.  we know we need a lawyer but we are unable to do so rightnow. What else can we do that won't cost a fortune?

[4honor]

If so, suck it up and do it for 3 or 4 weeks... cause she will be begging to "make other arrangements".

[4honor]

If so, suck it up and do it for 3 or 4 weeks... cause she will be begging to "make other arrangements".

[oklahoma]

I favor writing letters because it is much easier for me to express myself clearly in writing (though ya'll may not see that on some of my posts.)  You have a chance to sit and think about what to say and how to say it, and a chance to read over it and change anything before you send it off.

So, my suggestion is to start writing some letters--state what you agreed to verbally, request that the verbal agreement be upheld, request a written response within X days.   Wait patiently, if no response send another letter again requesting same stuff and infer that you will be forced to take the issue to court if she does not cooperate.  (And keep copies of all your correspondence!)  If nothing happens, you have lost nothing but $0.37 for the stamp.

I assume the denied visitation was based upon the verbal agreement, so that trying to hold her in contempt would not work.  Does your verbal agreement fit pretty closely with state guidelines for long-distance visitation?  If so, you may want to send the ex a copy and let her know that is what the court would likely go with if you were forced to take it that far.  Probably want to get that verbal agreement in writing and signed off by the courts....

You can start the search for an attorney in the meantime.  In our state, you can call the bar association for referrals.  They give you names of attorneys who will accept payment plans, and most attorneys will reduce their first consultation fee if you are referred by the state bar.

Be patient.  Call the child as often as possible.  Try to keep up a polite dialogue with the ex.  From what I have been told--haven't really experienced it yet--courts like to see the cooperation, and will favor the side who makes an effort at it.

[jilly]

I would send the letters by certified mail, return receipt requested. That way you know that she got the letter. If she refuses to accept it then you can have that as proof too.