step-moms mother?

[mickey26]

Hello. I have two step childern and 3 childern from my husband. my step childern are 11 and 10 the other kids are 3, 2, and 6 weeks. last year at chrismas my mother got my two bio kids more gifts that she got my step sons. She gets my bio-kids better thing on there birthdays also. My grandfather passed away,My mother father i did not want to start a family fight but my aunt did not include my step-kids in the obit, that went in the paper. It listed me and my husband and are two kids i had not had my baby at that time. My step kids asked why they were not in it and they also have noicted now that they are a bit older that the little ones get more than they do. I have tryed to talk to my mother about this, she said that my step kids are not around all the time so they do not need as much.  when i tell people how many kids i have i say i have 5 kids my mother if she is there allways has to say that two of them are my step kids that i really only have 3.  how do i get her to see what she is doing?

[4honor]

So run interference and make sure that the the Skids learn to treat Step G'ma well in spite of her pettiness.

And show the kids that the little ones get lots of baby toys cause they are little.

Actually, SS get fewer presents at our home cause he gets 2 Christmases, 2 birthdays, 2 easters, etc. it all works out in the wash. In years when BM had litle or no money he got more here... now that she makes more the DH, we have scaled back.

A grandma should know better, though.

[Coty]

Eek!  Your mother is being rude and mean, even if she doesn't realize that she is.  If it were me, I would sit my mother down and tell her how I felt, and how my stepkids felt as well.  

My mom makes a point of getting my ss14 and my nephew almost the same exact things for Xmas and b-days.  She has done this ever since dh and I have been together, before we were even married.  She always considers my ss's feelings, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  

Time to speak up, or it will only get worse as your bonus kids get older, and real resentment may build up.

[joni]

Grandma should know better.  Maybe you can rationalize it to your stepchildren by reminding them that they have another grandma on their mother's side, their mother's grandmother.  The difference in gifting come from her so in the end, they do get as much gifts as your kids....I know it's a shabby excuse but what else are you going to do with your mother?

[wendl]

She will never understand.
I go thru the same thing with my mother in regards to my stepkids, she thinks that since she lives out of state and really doesn't know them then she shouldn't have to get them anything.

I have and my husband (sent a not so nice email) tried to explain to her that they are part of my family (my mom should know she I have 2 stepbrothers and a stepsister that are her husbands kids)

I told her she should at LEAST send the kids cards as they are young and we DO NOT play favorites, either get them all something, or send them ALL cards or don't bother with anything for my son either.

You will never changed her, try to explain to the kids how you cannot control what she does and that you are sorry for her behvior

Thankfully my stepmom treats all the kids the same regardless of which one I gave birth to.

DH and I teach the kids to treat everyone kindly as later in life family is all you have and its important to treat everyone with respoect and that makes you a better person.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[flewwellin]

Maybe if you explain to her that they may not need as much but they have feelings and are aware they are treated differently maybe she would change her way of doing things.  it's not that they are your steps she should be looking at them as children and they deserve just as much attention and love as her bio grandkids

[flewwellin]

geez i didnt' realize how good i got it.  my mom says that she has two grandkids.  they are her steps and they call her by her first name but the love and affection is still there.  They prefer to go to her house then their own grandmother's houses!