should we change(kind of long)

[hopeful_25]

For the past, 8yrs we have had visitation with ss (now 12) about every third day and eow.  BM lives approx. 20miles from us and in the last ct order she had it state that we would do all the driving and DH signed due to something he wanted her to agree to(the reason we were in court) and she did.  Anyway...She makes probably double what DH makes and has other means of money coming in.  We don't mind driving to get ss because we love and care for him very much.  With gas prices going up, is it not reasonable that on the eow she could pick him up?  We have also tossed around the idea of less time but ss says no, he wants to come live here (BM is totally against this).  I am worried that if we do less time then it could harm him emotionally(alot of changes at BM happening in next 2-4 months).  SS said he is going to find a way to come live with us next school year.  Any suggestions would be great and appreciated.

[4honor]

watch for some serious downhill slides into "uncontrollable" from this kid. One thing teenage boys seem to know how to do is get their CP moms to hand them over to their dads.

[ocean]

I am not sure what you want...if you want to eventually get custody, I would not bring up the gas issue. Pick your battles....20 miles is really not a lot compared to most of the people here. If you wind up getting custody then she should do all the driving :) 12 year olds can state their opinion in court usually but it should not be up to him. Teens play both parents and you do not want to start having him jump back and forth. Can you increase visitation and maybe that will help? Good luck!

[joni]

Pick your battles, it's a petty thing to go back for just for gas.  

And giving up precious visitation time with your child because of a tank of gas looks bad on any future plans you have for going after custody.  It'll come back to bite you, the judge will say a tank of gas is worth more to you than a weekend with your child.