Update on SS and hearing today.

[4honor]

BM brought SS to court -- we were concerned she might not show, but she was there before we were.

Judge (male) had the DA hand over the inch thick discovery packet to the public defender. The probabtion officer, the DA, and the defense table (including SS, BM and Pub Def) are all seated in front of the judge at their respective tables. The Everyone introduces themselves and then the DA lets the judge know that the "victims" are in the court room -- we correct him that the parents of the victims are in the room.

Quick interjection of background here: the probation department sets up the "safety plan" so that if possible the juvenile can be released with the safety plan in place. IF the supervision is lacking, they request detainment.

Probation pipes up that since BM has been uncooperative to date, that they are requesting detainment. The DA concurs, and adds the note that due to the severity of the charges he requests detainment. BM starts "weeping" uncontrollably and carrying on.

Judge verifies the blubbering one is BM and then finds DH in the back next to me.  The defense tries to ask BM questions about what she is willing to do to make sure SS and all others around him are safe. She spews drivel and promises just about anything.  So BM has had her say and judge turns to DH. He says he would like SS released to strict house arrest at BM's (but only if SS is either at school or in his mother's presence at all times).

BM tries to make it all about what we have or have not done with regard to visitation. the judge silences her and rules that SS will be detained because of the severity of the charges, he is a danger to himself and the community. BM lets loose with wailing to add to her weeping and cries that she took the entire day off work to deal with this matter.

Judge looks at BM and says, "Ma'am, I need you to stop weeping and look me in the eye so that I know you get this." And proceeded to spank her for diminishing the charges in front of her son, and for not doing anything to get this situation resolved (no counseling, not responding to probabtion, not contacting any attorney... nothing) and told her that her failure to act has brought us to this place.

Pub defender tried to push through a hearing to the afternoon, but the wheels of justice are not swift (except when they are taking a man's money) it was scheduled for Monday. BM was beside herself and kept wailing, " BUT HE'S A GOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD BBBBBBBOOOOOYYYYY!"

Judge answered that he better be a good boy while in detention. Made her cry more. I sat there on my hands biting my tongue so as not to draw attention to the fact that I was doing the snoopy dance inside for BM's judicial dressing down.

All the while DH is sitting there stunned silent. The Victim's Assistance office assured us this was a formality and SS would likely go home. They also assumed that BM had cooperated with the probation office. We were all surprised (I think the coordinator next to us had her mouth hanging open too.)

If BM had not failed to make contact with the Probation office SS would have gone home until the pre-trial conference. I am partly relieved he is off the street -- I believe he will reoffend without treatment. I am also saddened for SS that his mother basically shot him in the foot.

The moral of this story is that you shouldn't ignore the calls of the peons in the justice system when you child is on trial for a felony.

[jilly]

Wow....she's really stupid isn't she?  And the sad part in all this is: she let her own child hang out there high and dry.  I think it's safe to say that's why he's in the place he's at now.  No win situation for everyone.
:(

[wendl]

4 I am glad they are going to detain him.

Who was the judge that heard the case??? (you can email me in private if you like)

How long will SS have to be detained?? Did they order counseling etc??

I bet you are relieved at the outcome.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[dsm]

What a nightmare.  I cannot imagine how your DH must have felt sitting there and day-to-day thinking about what his son has done.  How heartbreaking.  I completely see where you are coming from and have to admit I would have been tapping my toes doing the Snoopy dance with every lashing the judge laid out to your BM (images of RAK's Snoopy dancing across my memory.....)

Hang tight and let the wheels turn.  Do you have to present the impact statement on Monday then?  How are you doing in that regard?


==============================================================================

dsm - 34
DH - 38
SD - 15
LO - 9
BB - 2
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2 Cheap Entertainment cats - Snoop & Dagger - 5 years and counting.....

[4honor]

The Victim's Assistant (our connection)  called to tell me I did a good job with it. I think it sounded whiny, but there is no way to properly make the reader feel what your family is going through.

They normally would have done the hearing in about 2 weeks, but because he was detained prior to the hearing, they are expediting (in on Wed out on Mon -- maybe) I want to be present and tell the judge to PLEASE have him evaluated prior to release back to his mother. I think he was abused in her household maybe by BM or by half bro (demon possessed little punk -- age 17 until the end of the month) and SS is too scared or protective to tell on either one of them.

Thing is, SS improved all around when HB (half brother) went to live with his father...and took a nose dive when he returned. According to all I can figure out, SS began abusing DS1 about the same time HB left, and began abusing DS2 about the time HB returned... but then, how do you get exact dates out of a 5 year old and a 7 year old (ages at the time)?

On another note... though ODS & YDS miss SS terribly, they seem to have gained confidence in the last several days since SS went to Juvie, YDS especially who had given up talking except to scream that ODS was taking his toys/hitting him etc. YSD was quite the little charmer before all this came out. He has his twinkle back in his eye now, and couldn't wait to tell the counselor that SS was in "kid jail" (would not talk before).  ODS is conflicted but seems more relaxed over all.

DH went with me to toake the kids to their counselor. The counselor assured him -- when he waffled about whether he believes this or not -- that kids this young do not say their siblings put a penis in their anus to get back at a sibling... they say things like he hit me, he took my toy, he farted on my head, that kind of thing. DH admitted that he beleived ODS and YDS, but had a hard time believing that SS was capable of it... thoughit must be true. I understand how hard it is for him to believe, but he must at least behave as if he believes when he works with the court so that SS can get the proper treatment.