I am going to freak out...calling all the reinforcements please!!!!!!! LONG

[Sunshine1]

Ok some of you know or may not know that BM and I (SM) were in an altercation this summer over something VERY stupid.  Rather than debate her I simply told her she can speak to DH about it and I went to shut my door during an exchange.  One child was already in her car and the other was in the kitchen with me, she told me she would not be speaking to him and before I could get the door shut she pushed the door and me down our stairs and attempted to get in...blah blah blah...

Long sotry short we were both charged with 5th degree assault and our trials are still in the works.

Fast forward.... there were TRO's granted on both of us and we are to have "no contact" is all the order says, no distance away from eachother nothing just no contact.

Ok last week there was an exchange, I accompanied 1. because DH refuses to go alone. 2. I exchange my children down the road just a half an hour later.  I DID NOT  come in contact with her by being in the car and I even consulted a police officer BEFORE the exchange to see if it would be a problem, in fact we were about 25 to 30 yards or so from her and the dang exchange is at a police station..does anyone see a problem here???  I was told as long as we didn't "come in contact" with eachother or approach the other it was ok.  (our exchanges are in a different town..half way points)  We were saving on gas AND my exchange is right after...seems logical right?

Not even 30 minutes went by and the police contacted me, they said that they were getting the orders faxed and if I had violated the orders he would call me back otherwise, he didn't need to bother me.  I said OK.  I did not get a call.

Pick up on Sunday, same routine, except she was not present, her boyfriend brought them and we had a civil standby this time.  I never even glanced in his direction.

TODAY!!!   I was served with a motion to change the TRO for me to have NO CONTACT  with even the children at their events..any events, nothing.  She is asking that I not be allowed to attend any "games, conferences, programs, field trips", you name it,  anything concerning the children I not be a part of.. and it gets better...she is requesting that "I have no third party contact of any kind, her kids (my ss), her EX husband (my current husband) and ANY family member they share jointly or anyone or anyother possible third party she knows".

*WTF* is she seriously putting a no contact order on MY husband and her children?  Has she totally lost it?

Ok I have vented, now what the hell am I going to do?  Is it possible for her to make sure I never be a part of the children's lives again?  LOL when I write it out it sounds stupid but when I read her affidavit over and over I'd like to go over there and choke the living crap out of her!!!!

I am the custodial step-mother.  If you really wanted to compare nuts to bolts I am actually their primary care taker, yes I know Step moms don't mean shit and I should let the BM parent how she likes and blah blah blah, and I would,  if she EVER participated a day in her life and didn't suck off welfare and Social security and defraud every Govt. agency known to man.

The only thing I got going for me on this one is her attorney is on a leave of absence and my court date is during that time and I have an attorney who has to DRIVE an hour and half which right there cost me 400.00 and another probably 1000.00 to open his mouth.

Please give me some words of wisdom to fend off the spawn of satan herself.  I mean it,  I really think she was born of Lucifer, there is just no other explanation for this woman.

HELP before I am put in a straight jacket!!!!!

[lucky]

Your argument is that she is abusing the TRO system by trying to avoid filing in family court to get custody and/or visitation changed by getting a no contact order on the children who live in your household.  Also, remind the judge that the kids WERE NOT a part of the assault in any way, shape or form.

BTDT.  I can't tell you it'll work for you, but that is what we had to argue and she didn't get the RO on the kids.  The judge told her to take it to family court as that is where it belonged.

As for the third party contact thing, I can't see a judge granting that you can have no contact with your husband just because she happens to have children with him, it's too ridiculous.

Good luck, Sunshine.

[em]Lucky

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers[em]

[smtotwo]

DH and I had this problem too.  We already had a GAL appointed and she tried to get a TRO against me that included the kids, so that they couldn't visit our home.

Because she filed it in her county they appointed a GAL there because it involved kids.

We argued that she didn't like the direction the case was going
 and was trying to get what she wanted  through another county.

Even the GAL agreed and every thing was dismissed and sent back to our county and our GAL.

About 4 months later I WAS granted a RO against her for harrassment.

She cannot call our house at all and she must pick the kids up across the street.  Any contact must be made through DH's cell phone.

[dontunderstand]

Dang sunshine!  Where do these freaks come from?  I swear, I can hear our BM doing the SAME thing.  She hasn't gone as far as legally, but she sure cussed us out about HER daughter spending time with me and my daughter.  SD's time is to be with DAD AND THAT IS IT.  Again, WTF!  So the weekends that we have SD, DH is to spend time with her and NOT the rest of his family?  Then she rants and raves about how I (SM) am NOT to pick up (DH was there) or transport SD in our vehicles by myself, THEN the following week she has her parents pick up SD, next visit her sister and the last visit her dad?  Okay I am confused!  Her family can transport, but not DH WIFE to go to the same place he is going after his appt.?  Her parents don't even take her home, SD goes to their house, falls asleep and then BM comes to wake her up and take her home.  (And where is BM the whole time? Real good question.)  No wonder the poor kid has a tough time getting up in the morning! Oh how is this one...BM got a "job" at a "bank" working every other weekend (our weekend) and every wednesday (when we have her)  pretty um...interesting you think?  Oh and she can't make arbitration (11-1) because she goes to night school???  We get SD updated attendance check tomorrow, I have a feeling we will not be having a good weekend, DH will be so pissed!  When I picked up SD (from school) Wed. she "just got a couple of pink slips this week."  WHAT???  IT'S WEDNESDAY!!!  I am so SICK and TIRED of being sick and tired of her, SHE MAKES ME SICK.  Does it ever end???  

[Sunshine1]

OK. background:

BM and I (SM) have HRO's on eachother (fantastic).  Last Friday was her weekend and I went to the exchange for various reasons but remained in the car and at about 30 yards away.  DH did the exchange she immediately got on the phone to have me arrested.  Didn't happen.

Saturday.  Boys take a cell phone which I am the owner and pay the bill on. Before it was so the children could call 911 if they were ever left alone (happens often) and we were able to speak to them on her time. She never lets us speak to them because her cell phone is too expensive blah blah blah..and vice versa, she may call it any time she wishes for her phone contact.etc..

Kids have phone on Sat. DH can not call her cell from our home or that would be violating the order of our residence calling her etc..  So I texted the boys (because they like to get messages ) on Sat. evening.

Boys did not return home with the phone and she emailed and said that they were not allowed to bring it anymore and we were to call her numbers.....can't for reasons stated above ..get it.

This Thursday...served with HRO papers saying I am harrassing via text and various other things such as "glares".  Thursday night I look online at the phone bill, she has been texting HERSELF  from the boys' phone to her cellphone thus obtaining the new HRO....everyone following here?

Call the County Sheriff in her town and explained the WHOLE STORY  to the Sargent and he immediatly dispatched an officer to go and pick it up from her.  No luck on Thurs. but Friday they had retrieved it. (We are big belivers in prayer so have any of you EVER heard of a Sheriff retrieving property for you for a civil matter?? Ummm that's a big fat NO!)

Ok today, I call down there to make arrangements to have an officer meet me to pick it up.  I get the officer that actually took a report from her on SATURDAY.  He proceeded to ask me who the heck the phone belonged to because it was now in his box labeled with my name to come and pick up and he couldn't figure out why it was now going to me.  I told him the children travel with the phone so their Dad and I can speak to them when they "visit" their mother.  (She left that out too that she is again the NCP)

Guess what he tells me.  "Ma'am I filed a report on that text message you sent to the boys.  I read it and it was definately to the boys, but she told me it was HER phone."  I said WHAT!??!!!!!!!!!   I told him I would be more than happy to bring him the bill and the signed ownership agreement for the phone when I come to pick it up.  He said we need to call the City attoney's office immediately tomorrow because you have a WARRANT out for your ARREST!!   Again I said WHAT??!!!!

He told me to stay home tonight and to retrieve it tomorrow based on the warrant and he would have to arrest me if I came down tonight and tomorrow he would clear it all up with the city attorney.  I said ummmm OK.  No problem.

I called DH and told him what had happened and what she did and I thought he was going to have a major melt down.  He called the officer and told him all the fun things that have been happening and how many times she has tried to get me arrested on this stupid HRO so far she has tried 7 times since last week.  He told DH he would drop the report and have the city attorney drop it and he would file charges on her for FILING A FALSE POLICE REPORT.  Bbbbbwhahahahahahahaahahahah!

FINALLY GEEZ!  For crying out loud someone finally believes us.  He told DH that she stared him point blank and told him it was HER cellphone.

So I have court on Fri for this whole nightmare, which I am truly excited to go to actually.  I don't even care about the money I have to pay my lawyer because she has perjered herself and she has been caught!  My lawyer said today, what all of you said, and that she is abusing the TRO court to get custody.  WhoooHOOOO!!!  Oh yeah on top of that my lawyer said as soon as we are done with that court hearing in her county, we will be filing contempt on her in MY county because the venue was changed to my county and the boys and I live in MY county so she is trying to do what "smtotwo" said and trying to file in a different county to get a different outcome.  heh heh heh.

Soooo the saga lives on.  I wish my separate sagas ran in the same week.  I am going to have to deal with SM and BF this week because it is their weekend too..

I know probably nothing will happen to her...nothing EVER does, I have the small joy of knowing I caught her, and she lied to a cop and he is not happy about it..kind of ruins your credibilityy if you lie to cop doesn't it, especially when you have a TRIAL coming up for assaulting someone.???  :)

So thanks for reading this far.  This is very good therapy to get this all out of me.  Anyone have any advice on what to do next?

[MixedBag]

go to soc's page and search either on cell phone or on posts from "I cry in the dark" -- because she asked Soc some questions because she was going to send a cell phone with her daughter....

I think you'll enjoy his advice.

[Sunshine1]

Plain and simple I won.  She didn't have the courtesy to even make an appearance.  Seh called yesterday late afternoon to the courthouse to request an interpreter, and they said...aaah, you should have requested that when you filed this motion..(hmmm why didn't you?....no lawyer perhaps?...want a continuance?)

They told her that there would be no continuance and it would be heard.  She never showed up.  They struck it and she may not get a re-hearing in her county, my county has jurisdiction.  

SOOOOooo, I won.  I may continue to got to exchanges to witmess them, this time BRING the video camera and film it, and remain in the car, and on days I am alone to exchange the children I am to have a civil standby waiting to observe so she can't make any more crap up about me.

Thanks everyone for all your advice and positive comments!