That Blankety Blank BM (in other words - VENT)

[4honor]

BM has determined that she doesn't have to co-parent cause SS was put back in Juvie. She "forgot" to take him to a treatment meeting (mandatory by criminal court order) and he is restrained from taking public transportation, and the place was 6 miles from home.

 BM didn't take him and now he is back in Juvie.

She is REALLY pissed, because she has to PAY taxes (cause DH is such an awful parent and won't LET her have HIS tax deduction), and on top of that, DH could not get the time off from work to go to SS's hearing, and SS is detained again for failure to comply with his probation conditions. BUT of course, it MUST be all DH's fault for not coming to the the hearing.  Stupid 6!t@h!

I am frustrated that she demands to do everything her way with SS, on her own (except that $$ part), and refuses to do anything DH suggests for SS (no matter how much he needed proper medical care and counseling), but when SS self destructs, it is all DH's fault according to BM. The distance and the lack of funding to continuously fight BM in court for access to SS made it next to impossible to change the outcome on our own. She literally has had this all her own way and now hates DH for it.

DH has stepped up each and every time BM lets him in on what is going on with SS -- he cancelled his plans with his cousin one weekend so that he could chaperone a school function that SS had to be at -- even though DH only had 5 hours sleep and 15 minutes notice.

DH is so fed up that he is almost hoping SS will go into foster care, just so that he can finish his treatment without BM's interference. And the kid NEEDS to finish that treatment program... short of divine intervention, there is little hope to "Cure" SS from his pedophilia.

[dipper]

4honor,

I read your post - sounds as if you are talking about dh's ex.  She is exactly the same way.  

DH would do anything for his son - I think even at the expense of our marriage.  BM wont tell him about appts., but she certainly lets him know how much he owes.  

It sounds as if for the sake of your ss, he would be better off in foster care.  This woman has serious issues, and she is only going to mess him up further.

My ss has court ordered counseling now.  He has ADHD and major behavior issues.  WE instigated counseling before, but bm got in court and said ss didnt like going and he didnt have to.  A year later with his life forever changed........court orders counseling.  So, now she sets it up without letting dh know.

I do believe your ss can overcome his issues if he has the proper guidance and help.

[wendl]

4
How the hell can you FORGET that you MUST take your child to his treatment meeting.

How stupid could one be. I know dam well if he lived with you and dh he would be going.

Ya gotta love "It's all your fault crap"

Hugs to you, dh and the other kids.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[4honor]

Seems it was not a treatment meeting, but a meeting with the probabtion officer. Then he was alone with a minor >2 years his junior at a friend's house, and he was unsupervised in a public pool with MANY other minors... so not just one offense, but 3. And the judge gave him another chance... it was only over the weekend (judge thinks SS needs to make it to school.)

BM was apparently mad cause SHE got reamed in court again, cause SS isn't supposed to be in the presence of a minor greater than 2 years his junior without an ADULT present who is responsible for him --- that would be a voting age/21 or greater adult. BM had been cheating and using SS' half brother (who just turned 18).

So she got caught , and got reamed and now she can't use her other son to babysit ss and she has to be with him every waking minute he isn't in school or with DH. Sucks to be SS right about now!

But somehow it is all DH's fault. She insists.

To make DH feel better I pointed out a license plate frame today. It said, "Take her hunting... Accidents Happen!"  I nearly wet my pants laughing.

[dipper]

"Take her hunting... Accidents Happen!" ...............LOL...I love that! Where could we get one?  

Funny how dh's are always at fault though they see the child less than anyone due to the BM.............

I just keep wondering what life is going to be like when the kiddos are grown and we never have to speak to her again....and she cant get money from dh...and she has to support herself......and her drama cant touch us.....

She really needs to find a man....

[4honor]

wishing her on some poor unsuspecting soul.

In our case, when BM ison the prowl, she is really nice. When she finds a boyfriend she turns into Cruella DeVille and is impossible to live with. When she breaks up she is worse for a short while and then gradually gets better until she decides maybe she DOES need a man and goes back on the prowl.  But of course, if she is on the prowl too long and doesn't find her man, then she gets weird and tries flirting with poor naieve DH.  (You should see hiim sudder when I tell him that is BM's version of flirting). When that gets her nowhere, then she is ten times angrier than before and she goes back to hating men.  It is a viscious cycle with a viscious woman.

She chooses NICE men. So it is not like you are wishing her on her own kind.