Problems with ss..

[dipper]

A couple of months ago when I received my bill from Dish, there were two charges for adult ppv movies from July 2005.  I called and was told that the movies were ordered by remote.  Since I dont have my receiver hooked to a phone line, I disputed the charges.  They said someone must have hooked it to the line and ordered, then unhooked - not possible, I have tried and it doesnt allow that option.  The charges were took off.  I didnt put a code on the account, because I thought it was some sort of glitch...some problem that was over with.  Naive, I know.

Well, today I called to make a payment and the bill was really high.  I went through to billing to ask how the bill could be that high.  I was told that last weekend, multiple adult PPV's were ordered from our receiver.  Again, I said no way - we were here.....and we cannot use our remote to order.  We always order using the phone or computer, never through the receiver.  

So, I get off the line with the lady and hook the phone line to the receiver.....and go through the remote to order wrestling tonight....at first it gave the smart card message - which is where I usually stop.....But, no, it does go through.    

I still have a hard time with the charges as dh and I were here for some of them, but I looked up my account online.  Six of the movies were ordered while we were working...and two after midnight.  DH thought of oss, but he was not here those times I know for sure.  (my girls werent here either).  The only person that was here at all times these purchases were made were my 14 year old ss.    Because of a holiday and a suspension, he was at our home on two Mondays - when six charges were made.

he denies it, but now we are faced having to pay $100 in adult movie charges for this.

Does this seem the normal behavior of a 14 year old boy?

It does not to me.  He knew we would have to pay for this, yet he did it.  And movie after movie....by himself.........I dont have sons...and my brothers were young before there was ppv.....so, I dont think this is normal, but what does everyone else say?

[wendl]

oh boy, I have a 14yr old too and he has been doing some things (not ordering movies he did once but not adult movies.  But has been doing other teenage stuff.

Sound normal to me at 14 pm me if you would like.

Set a password so he cannot order anymore movies.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[4honor]

SS managed to get internet porn by usuing grnama's computer and her company credit card that was left in their home office -- yup, while he was awaiting trial for felony Child rape I. He is not a smart boy.

The male of the species  AT THIS AGE is generally stimulated visually. They also GENERALLY will behave like dogs unless they are taught to behave otherwise. Your DH needs to deal with this. Pornography is detrimental to young men. It makes relating to real live flesh and bones (and not perfectly proportioned/airbrushed ones either) women difficult. This is setting a BAD prescident. He does not have the mental and emottional experiences to deal with pornography.

[dipper]

Thank you both for your responses.

As you said, porn is not the way to go.  I think it only leads to compulsion.  SS never gets mad - really, he shows no emotion.  And in my opinion, he has no conscience.  I have never seen him feel truly guilty.  After the incident with my daughter, he did seem scared as he thought we would ban him for life.....but, he didnt seem to ever feel bad about what he did to her.

I know this may be normal as he is curious and hormonal, however my problem is....4 movies in one day!  At $10.99 a pop, knowing we have financial strains.  We cannot afford this bill.  Then he simply lies and goes on about it.  Also, he knew how to go about ordering - the phone line being hooked up, ordering and then unplugging.  I had always said we could not order that way.....Frankly, I think this is not the first time he has done this.  Possibly why bm's service has been disconnected in the past.  Now, I am worried about 900# coming next...

We have our PPV account set to zero now...the only way to order is a code and payment up front.

I am very upset with him over this.  

[catherine]

but not acceptable, that's for sure.  I'd not even listen to the "I didn't do it" and simply state that you know he did and make him do extra chores to make up the money he has spent.  

Also, password protect the heck out of everything.  And, I think you can ask your phone provider to disable all outgoing 900 numbers so you can stop that one before it's even started.

[msme]

way to interested in sex for their own good. I agree with Catherine, make him work the charges off. Another thing I would consider would be to turn off the dish & go back to a good old set of rabbit ears until he works off the bill.

I realize that the rest of the family will have to do without for the time but we lived quite well for many years without cable or sattelite. Let the family know that everyone will have to make do because xxx made some poor choices.

If he had taken your grocery money, you would have to make do with cheap meals & give up all the extras until you could get caught up. Why should this be any different. He took something from the whole family & he needs to pay & be made to realize the seriousness of the consequences.

Put down a list of what he has to do every day & put a price on each item so that he can see it go down. Remember, most of the studies done say we should turn off our TV's for a couple of weeks, now & then.
Giving up the dish won't really hurt anyone & might actually be good for the other kids.

Good luck & God bless!
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!