Told ya she'd pull....

[Sunshine1]

some shit today!  AAAAAAAAhhhhhhhkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!

Is choking someone to death in a rage of fury actually a crime?

So I go completely out of my mind last night because the kids wanted to get their BM something for her birthday on Sunday after we picked them up from 2 weeks with her.  I immediately shot that down...then 5 days went past.

I told them lastnight I would take them to the dollar store to spend their allowance on her.  They each spent about 5 bucks total.  I wrapped, I tied beautiful bows, there was a balloon, I even dipped into my PARTY LITE VOTIVES and made a nice satchel for her candle thingy one of them had purchased.  All and all I was pretty proud of myself for being a bigger person and doing this for the kids at 12:00 AM IN THE MORNING! I must have had too many looney pills that day because NEVER NEVER NEVER AGAIN will I do something nice for her!

So DH takes them this morning for her birthday visit, her BF picks up and all is fine and dandy until about 1 hr and 20 min to their arrival home!

CPS calls to do a follow up from WEEKS before that they had just today been able to get ahold of her to verify a complaint they received on the day after Memorial Day.  We thought this was all over...ooohhh noooo, they called her today to verify the story and she denied the entire incident, which the children were already interviewed weeks ago that it DID happen, but it was an unfounded account...great, nice, fine, move on....till tonight!

Exactly 15 minutes later the youngest SS calls hysterically crying his head off that he wants to live with his mother.  After that DH speaks to older SS and he also says he and his brother both want to live there but they couldn't tell him why or what happened and the reason for the crying.

DH just went now to retreive them with a neutral 3rd party, a guy he used to work with, because Lord knows I would find a way to a cell tonight if I went along!  She completely expects me to be there too.

What a psycho!  She completely ruined her own Birthday and traumatized these two and brainwashed them into thinking we were the ones that called CPS and the worker ASSURED her that is was NOT us that called on her and turned their entire day of fun into a pile of dog sh*t!!

I want to SCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAMMMMMM!

Ok now to my questions...there is no order for summer visitation, it basically says you get EOW and 2 weeknights.  DH worked out a 7 week agreement for summer visitation but now would like to rip it up and throw it in the toilet after her little stunt this evening.

Can he do this?  No order stating summers, she has a free attorney, we can't afford one...well we can but then that means I gotta borrow some more money.  Which I do not want to do.  Judge sides with her EVERYTIME unless DH has an attorney.

How can he deal with this psycho?  She is mentally unstable but everytime we do anything about it, they say "she is not hurting the kids" (really, trully, she has muliple, provable, documented, mental disorders, I'm not just saying she is crazy)

I will have to post an update becasue DH is not back yet, and after that I am going to delete it....just in case

Thanks for the vent!  

[ocean]

Did you put in writing the agreement? (informally?) If not, then he can just state that he will be following the court order, period.

[4honor]

by a judge, just send a notice to BM that you are rescinding your offer of additional time, since BM used the CPS follow up as an opportunity to traumatize the children.

Also, let her know that next year (after BM has had some time to work on her tendency to include the children in adult issues) you (DH) will revisit the possibility again... but only if there are no more breakdowns like the one that just happened. Let her know, that in all good conscience, you cannot let the children go after that. You are more concerned about the kids than about agreements.

[MixedBag]

good suggestion

[Sunshine1]

Boy did she ever do a number on them!  It was all over the CPS thing.  I mean get a grip here lady!  She got off the call and freaked them totally the hell out...

First she promised them all sorts of things..fun things and items that they would receive if they called their father and told them that they wanted to live there.  That didn't seem to work so then she layed on them that, we were trying to make it so they would never see her again and their sisters....that seemed to be the trigger for younger SS.

Then the call came.  Older SS would not get on the phone, but DH made him and he said the same thing, but no crying involved or anything just a straight monotone voice, "we want to live with mom".

DH picks up the chidlren at the exchange and she is freaking out to the cop that the boys want to live with her.  He said ma'am there is nothing I can do, they must go with their father.  Kids get in car, DH explains to cop the whole last hour of events and he comes home.

We set them down and they say that she made them say that and if they didn't something bad was going to happen to them.  They didn't want to make her mad because when she gets mad "bad things" happen.

They couldn't tell us what exactly, they didn't mention beating them, or anything I think it gets pretty miserable there though if she is on the war path.

Ok is this enough?  The kids saying they are terrified of their mother enough to do any thing about these summer weeks?

Nothing was filed with the court, it was just a 2 letters that went between DH and her attorney agreeing to 7 weeks and the actual dates.  I usually forward to the court admin, but I didn't this time for some reason???  HMMM.  weird.

She has totally lost it and they were only doing what they needed to to protect themselves.  I asked them if they still wanted to go and they said they want to see her but not if she keeps doing this.  This has happened before, she spent an entire weekend plotting to have me arrested by having them make a video tape with a script to follow.

What can we do?  If we take away the visits there is sure to be a motion for something!  Even though the PP is exremely specific that they must mediate first.

Here is what I was thinking...exparte motion for supervised visits, and a revised visitation schedule.  A motion for psychological testing and counseling for the kids (they were in counseling things were going well so they stopped...so back to the drawing board)?

Any other ideas?

HELP!!!!

[ocean]

I would send a letter to her lawyer stating the recent facts and that you will be following the court order. I would then take the kids back to the therapist so this is all on record. Let them vent their feeling to the therapist and take it from there. Good luck!

[dipper]

 I dont know, this could still be binding, but given your circumstances, I would think you would have a good chance in court of having it dismissed.

She obviously has some bad issues to do this to the children.  I think counseling would be great as the children need a neutral sounding board....while you and dh do not pressure them, they still feel a certain expectation of wanting to make everyone happy..and that leads to learning how to manipulate.

I feel so bad for those boys...