Update on my whining

[Ref]

SD's package is being returned. BM wrote a nasty email and she covered her butt by saying that she is encouraging SD to come here but she can't force her on a plane.

The only way I can think of getting around all this stuff is to invite SD to go on our trip with us. Hopefully she will at least want to do that. 10 days in Sunny California. I figure we can get a refundable ticket and if she doesn't want to go we can go to California just the two of us and maybe take a couple more days and fly to Seattle.

I wish there was more we can do, but we just don't have to energy anymore. BM has brainwashed SD too much. She will reap what she has sown.

Time to be a little selfish.

Thanks
Ref

[dipper]

Ref,

You are not being selfish.  I hope sd will at least go on the trip.  

Remember sometimes how soc would tell people to live their lives.  I think that was some of his wisest advice...while we love our children, we have to learn to live without them at some point as they grow into adulthood...this is just earlier than it should have been....

Hopefully when she is older, she will see the wrong of the situation and choose to be a part of you and dh's lives...

[Ref]

I can't help it. This girl is flunking school, hanging around with bad kids, drinking, doing drugs, having sex..... I can't help bu worry.

The latest development is SD's grades. 4 F's (one in gym), 1 D and 2 B's (one is Art).

DH texted SD on Easter wishing her a happy Easter. Her response was "I'm still not coming up this summer".

What can we do? BM isn't doing anything and anytime any suggestions are made she gets uber-defensive and slams the communication door shut.

Any suggestions. We live 1400 miles away and only have an email relationship with the school.


Ref

[MixedBag]

did you get my pm with an idea??

[Jade]

>I can't help it. This girl is flunking school, hanging around
>with bad kids, drinking, doing drugs, having sex..... I can't
>help bu worry.
>
>The latest development is SD's grades. 4 F's (one in gym), 1 D
>and 2 B's (one is Art).
>
>DH texted SD on Easter wishing her a happy Easter. Her
>response was "I'm still not coming up this summer".
>
>What can we do? BM isn't doing anything and anytime any
>suggestions are made she gets uber-defensive and slams the
>communication door shut.
>
>Any suggestions. We live 1400 miles away and only have an
>email relationship with the school.
>
>
>Ref

There really isn't anything you can do to motivate her.  Even if you lived in the same town.

If it is any consolation, she may end up in college with very good grades.  Right now, she is reacting to her situation.  And not in a healthy way.  But she lacks the maturity to realize that.

I'm a perfect example of that.  I never did well in school (I could have been a straight A student, it wasn't that I didn't understand the work.  It's that I didn't apply myself at all).  In fact, I flunked out of high school.  I had to take a GED.  This acting out was in reaction to my life at the time.  

There was one semester in college that I was on the Dean's list for a 4.0 (and that was the semester that I went full-time and took all of my hard classes).  I have a bachelor's degree.  

Your stepdaughter may just end up doing better as she gets older.  Don't give up on her.  

[wendl]

LMAO why would you want to fly to Seattle

Just kidding I was born and raised in the Seattle area, thank god I moved.

FYI-The nicest time to go to Seattle is July, go the Pike Place Market and the Pier they are fun.  San Juan Island is also nice.  

Invite her IF you can get a refundable ticket, you may all have fun.

PS if you go to Seattle you need to go to Dicks Drive Inn for me and get a Dicks Deluxe, fries, and a strawberry shake (not whipped).


Remember she is a child, we live 600 miles away from my stepson and cannot control shall we just say certain things, all you can do is let her know you love her and are there for her, she is going to have to live with the decisions she makes in life and learn on her own all you can do is coninue to guide her and pray for the best, that is what we have to do.

It isn't easy, but at least you know you have tried and done the best and continue to what you can (even if she doesn't listen right now) Sometimes they have to hit bottom before they release it. None of us as parents want to see this, but sometimes it is the only way they will actually learn.

Extra hugs to you all

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**