OT - Humor - Pilots Rules

[Brent]

RULES OF THE AIR

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the
   stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the
   stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up
   there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep
   the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot
   starts sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No-one has ever collided
   with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'
   landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make
   all of them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to
    taxi to the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle
    of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival
    and vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to
    five minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about
    might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable
    sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in
    clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the
    number of take offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
    Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience.
    The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag
    of luck.
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round
    and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the
    passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going
    hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour,
    the ground has yet to lose.
20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience
    usually comes from bad judgment.
21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much
    as possible.
22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's
    not subject to repeal.
24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you,
    runway behind you and a tenth of a second ago.
25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however,
    no old bold pilots.