7 reasons not to mess with a child...Funny email I got...

[Stepmom0418]

 
 




Subject: FW: 7 reasons not to mess with a child

>

>* A little girl: was talking to her teacher about  whales.

>

>The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to  swallow

>a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat  was

>very small.

>

>The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a  whale.

>

>Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow  a

>human; it was physically impossible.

>

>The little girl: said, "When I  get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

>

>The teacher: asked, " What if Jonah went  to hell?"

>

>The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".

>

>

>

>*  A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while

>they  were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's

>work. As  she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked

>what the  drawing was.

>

>The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."

>

>The teacher:  paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

>

>Without missing  a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl:

>replied, "They will in a  minute."

>

>

>

>* A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten  Commandments with her

>five and six year olds. After explaining the  commandment to "honor" thy

>Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a  commandment that teaches us

>how to treat our brothers and  sisters?"

>

>Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family)  answered,

>"Thou shall not kill."

>

>

>

>* One day a little girl was  sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at

>the kitchen sink. She  suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands

>of white hair sticking  out in contrast on her brunette head.

>She looked at her mother and  inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your

>hairs white, Mom?"

>

>Her  mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and

>make me cry  or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

>

>The little girl thought about  this revelation for a while and then said,

>"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's  hairs are white?"

>

>

>

>The children had all been photographed, and the  teacher was trying to

>persuade them each to buy a copy of the group  picture.

>

>"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all  grown up

>and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael,  He's a

>doctor.'

>

>A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And  there's the teacher,

>She's dead. "

>

>

>

>* A teacher was giving a  lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to

>make the matter clearer,  she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the

>blood, as you know, would  run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."

>

>"Yes," the class  said.

>

>"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary  Position

>the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

>

>A little fellow shouted,  "Cause your feet ain't empty."

>

>

>

>The children were lined up in the  cafeteria of a Catholic elementary

>school for lunch. At the head of the table  was a large pile of apples. The

>nun made a note, and posted on the apple  tray:

>

>"Take only ONE. God is watching."

>

>Moving further along the  lunch line, at the other end of the table was a

>large pile of chocolate chip  cookies.

>

>A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching  the

>Apples.

>

>

>

>It doesn't matter how many people you send this  to, just remember if it

>made you laugh, your friends will laugh  too.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>GOOD, BETTER, BEST

>

>

>

>GOOD:

>

>A Richardson, TX policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders,  but

>wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy  was

>standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR  TRAP

>AHEAD". The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a  sign

>reading "TIPS" and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just  sell

>lemonade!)

>

>

>BETTER

>

>A motorist was mailed a picture of  his car speeding through an automated

>radar post in Plano, TX. A $40 speeding  ticket was included. Being cute, he

>sent the police department a picture of  $40. The police responded with

>another mailed photo of  handcuffs.

>

>

>BEST

>

>A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As  the TX State Trooper Officer

>walked to her car window, flipping open his  ticket book, she said, "I bet

>you are going to sell me a ticket to the Texas  State Police Ball." He

>replied, "Ma'am, Texas State Troopers don't have  balls. "There was a moment

>of silence while she smiled, and he realized what  he'd just said. He then

>closed his book, got back in his patrol car and drove  off. She was laughing

>too hard to start her  car.

>