Kids therapist has been conned by BPD mommy

[onedaddy]

We requested the kids be brought to therapy in March '03.  BM agreed so judge did not write it into order.  January '04 judge ordered within 30 days.  March'04 we filed a contempt and they started seeing Caroline in August.
We are in the middle of a custody battle.
It was ordered neither party can call the therapist to court yet BM's attorney requested the judge overturn order 2x.  Denied.

If BM and SF don't like what DH does they upset 8yo SD and make her call Caroline crying that she is afraid of us.  SD and SS report back to BM after every weekend and then the story gets twisted and they tell this to Caroline.  In our last session it was obvious the stories the kids told Carline when BM was around were very different as when she had SD confront us.  Caroline said there could be many reasons for this maybe they are afraid to tell the truth in front of you.  Maybe they don't understand you because you don't explain things to them.  I said maybe BM has been diagnosed as being severely sociopathic, BPD and Anti-social, maybe she needs a target and the children say what their mother asks them to say.  Well, Caroline thinks I'm just slinging mud and she said if the children are lying because of momster than she cannot help them.

We feel Caroline constantly comes at us with BM's issues and when we bring up ours she says she doesn't want to get involved.

We even told Caroline at the beginning things shouldn't have gone this far, BM gave us no other choice, well she told this to BM who tried to twist it around and use it against us.

DH called her on Tuesday because some new issues arose and then again yesterday and no call back. We are supposed to meet with her and the kids on Saturday.
She wants DH and BM to meet with her alone, but our counselor says BAD idea.  There is no reasoning with this type of personality, she lies constantly and blames us for things she does, even when presented with proof and sadly she is often believeable without all of our back-up. She says one thing and always does another and it is our fault.  DH is afraid it will be a hanging and he is frankly afraid of BM.  She always harrasses and threatens DH be it verbally, physically, with the police, the court, CPS, the GAL and now the counselor.  Sheconstantly tells him if she does not get her way, she will call the police, the da, the various courts he will not seethe kids. We are tired of being blackmailed.

[gipsy]

She's a psycho . I had similar crap , And Is Caroline the therapist ? If so the judge already said she can't testify , Read My other posts , They have info in them about the court system and GAL , MY other posts are in FATHERS ISSUS  ,AND VISITATION , I went through all this crap , I reacted to mom , And as you are seeing these liars are soooo good at twisting stories around , I went through similar crap with threapist. And mom conning people , But when it all comes out in the wash it is way better that you don't do any thing to her except be a good person , In My case I interacted with the crap , And it back fired , I think it is better to let them do all this crap , Then the Judge won't have the possibility to wonder who is doing it , In My case the second , Guardian ad Litem was conned or payed of by mom , Still yet ,All these threats and crappola wont mean a thing at court , If you have court ordered visitation the best you can do is show up with a Video camera , and get the kids , then if she doesn't give then to you, file contempt , EVERY time , the court won't do much till You file a few times , But they will get sick of it after a while and Mom may lose custody ,,, The hardest thing to do right now is be cool don't react , If you do the story teller will invent a story , Thats why I Carried a video camera ,Even psycho's behave under the watchfull eye ,

[onedaddy]

GAL in our case was fooled but only for a while she is now on our side, at least that's what our lawyer says.  The forensics evaluator even said he was fooled but only for one visit.  When presented with back-up it's pretty black and white.  She lies about very provable things.  

What gets me is that, EVERYtime BM has the kids make a new allegation GAL/our lawyer/her lawyer and the therapist come down on us.

Unfortunately I did get into it with BM just last week, she sent some ridiculous email and I just had to rip her a new one.  All in all I was angry and it showed but kept everything factual.

We pick-up and drop-off at the respective police stations.  What do you do just have the camera running the entire time?  I alway keep a tape recorder in my pocket because I want the evidence, i don't necessarily want her to be on her best behavior?

I wil look for your posts as soon as my 2 month old stops crying  

[gipsy]

Hey I think you will come out good on this , Again My big mistake was to do any thing or Say any thing that could be EXAGERRATED  by the psycho , I made some  efforts toward the mother to undermine her , This is seen as he said she said , And at one point or another the court can't decide for the worse of two evils , [My Opinion ) Keep your nose clean And be the good parent , If the GAL is on your side , the other side has a huge uphill battle to fight to refute it , Just lay back and be a [cool] headed person , when they start to see through her she will get desparate and try to pull you into a fight , It occurs to me that when they see her for what she is , That We , DON"T give them any reason to say , " see there is the explanation for Why I act like psycho mom" I repeat don't give them any reason to believe any thing she say's , And don't do any thing ,call any one on her side, or send any letters to any one with out running it by your atty , If you stay clean then there is only one trouble maker to blame , I screwed up in this , I still got my visits and a ok parenting plan , But Remmember you do one thing wrong as a man and even if you were provoked ,you will have trouble , now is the time to do some of what I did right , Thats have good healthy visits , Go to the  hobby store and get some projects the kids will like , And go do things and take pictures , You want a mountain of GOOD  parenting evidence , This is what My atty used at trial , We went over many good things I do with My son , I was only asked one or two questions at trial about the bad things about Mom , like her lies , and it was obviuos to the judge , My atty asked Me to tell the court who was making all the trouble , I said "she is making up stories and doing it to cause trouble" , . And I was asked about what the video taping would show , And I said " It will show that I go get my son and there is no trouble at the transfers as mom says " And I said this video taping is proof that the mom is lying about things I do at the transfer" , And The reason it is proof is" , If  I was really doing this then why was Mom not the one to video tape these so called events ", If she was telling the truth then ", She would be taping and would want the tapes to be shown at court" , So she doesn't want the tapes because it will show she is exagerrating , , I did not get custody , But My atty said he could tell the judge got the  picture from what I said about the taping .
  So In the end of trial Mom asked for 20,000$ In atty fee's . And the judge said "No way "And if this comes back to the court we will see who gets atty fee's " The judge also said she believd My part of this was reactive "The main issue is the taping will keep her on her best behavior , And you can have some fun with it , I used to come up with the camera , Some times My significant other would do the taping , And I would have a big smile pasted on my face and Would be way too nice , But not talk to much < It makes them sick because they can't be terrible   in front of the camera , And they have to be nice , Kill them with kindness , The courts and the GAL won't be so excited about the taping , But it did just what My atty said it would, and they sent a nasty threatening letter about the taping , My atty said this will be a clue to the judge about who's doing what . I never had to submit the letter because of course they can't deny it ,or you can show the letter . I would ask your atty if this is  legal in your state , And tell him why I said to do it . Also as I was told , don't expect the tapes to get into trial , Because the system is all too aware of the taping person, baiting the other person,  then wipping out the camera , But it does keep things really cool at the transfer, And remmember , the taping could be used , ,  The psycho made up some accusations , and the GAL asked me about it , I had taped those dates and I took My little TV In and said" here is a completely normal transfer" , "And what is mom saying" ? But still yet the  second GAL was a wierdo so it all fell toward mom any way , here you have to tape what is in the open . And the taping can't be of what would be considered to expose what is to be called the normal expectation of privacy . Wich means . you can't secretly tape into  her house , I had the camera in plain view . Ask your atty , don't do anything to the mother , or even argue with her , Just get the kids and walk away , you seem to have the ball in your court , I would say the next best move for you is to talk good to the kids about mom , that way if the GAL talks to the kids they won't say Dad talks bad about mom , But they might say , " Mom talks bad about dad " And that will be another good mark for you , YOU DO NOT want the kids to say Dad say'S mom is a  &*~@%^3.  , Don't leave this up to chance the court does not appreciate people that bring the kids into it , And don't even doubt what I say there . STAY COOL  Be good !!

[onedaddy]

The kids LIE to everyone about DH and me.  They have said we put them in timeout in a corner of a dark basement.  That I starve them.  That they have to fold all their clothes over and over again, etc.  BM's attorney asked  that they kids 8 & 5 be interviewed by the judge at the end of the trial. The evaluator stated they were coached by the psycho but now she is prepping them by twisting the truth so they have many, many examples.  
I hope not.

[gipsy]

It sounds like  Mom Should lose this one , I'm not sure if the evaluater is the psychiatrist that won't be allowed to testify , But the deal is,  If that is true, the GAl can repeat what the evaluater said , And it pretty much sticks , remmember be cool , it sounds good for you , This is very frustrating , But it sounds like mom is coaching, and the evaluater thinks so , Hopefully the GAL thinks so too , WOw , This is hard to believe the mom In my case coached My son , And got away with it , I did  say that at trial , And the judge listened to me ,Because I said at trial , " My son is too young to put together sentences like that And go to the GAL with the right information like that " He was barely putting sentences together , and was suddenly able to go tell these stories " I did see the judge looking right at me and thinking when I said that ,

[onedaddy]

Well the thankfully, the evaluator, who was chosen by BM's side can and will be testifing.  Hwe has worked with this judge and GAL many times in the past.  He also works as a police psychologist and teaches for the FBI in many countries.  BM's attorney requested she be reevaluated judge said no 3x.  They will call an expert to discredit the report but I think and hope evaluator can hold his own.

We were pleasantly surprised when evaluator called BM on everything.  Luckily for us she is not the brightest and leaves a trail of evidence to discredit her.  We supplied the evaluator with 100+pages of it and he took the time to view it all.

Did your trial end?  What was the outcome

[gipsy]

My trial ended , My case was different , and the evaluater , A so called psychologist believed the mom , there was not really the level of bs that you had , , My atty said he didn't really think I would get custody , My situation was , that I had a child from a casual affair and the Mother said she would never let me see My son , And I have a parenting plan in place ,  I have a standard visitation plan , I think it could have been diferent if I had a different GAL and Evaluation , And I did a couple things that the psyco blew out of proportion , Thats why I keep telling you not to do any thing ,or talk to Any one on her side  [Easpecialy] to the mom or her relatives Because this can screw things up a bit , But still yet a Had a piece of garbage for the second GAL , , And The evaluater had 9 reports against him , I had bad luck of the draw , But  I still advise you to keep in Mind that the judge pays attention to the GAL and the evaluater , But they also know that Psych evals Are really not the whole picture , That again is why I say , Be a Good parent , and don't do any thing  unless you ask your atty <