Underage driving....

[oklahoma]

So my ex-husband insists on having his 14-year old drive--and not just some little car, it's either Ford Expedition or the Dodge 4X4 truck.  It was a major point of discussion/disagreement when we were married.  Now I have no say in what he does with his daughter (from wife #1).  But she is driving while my children (ages 4 and 6) are in the vehicle.  Plus he takes my kids out of their booster seats/seat belts regularly, had my 6-year old "drive" the truck today.

I was to the point of frustration that I called the local police to see if anything could be done.  Either someone witnesses it, then reports it as it is happening (not likely to happen.)  Or, the police officer advised that I call the court tomorrow to have visitation rights "cancelled."  I know that is not right, would never do that to my children.  But at the same time I am seriously concerned about the safety of my children.  (There was a local news story about 3 months ago of a woman allowing her 14-year old stepson drive, and he killed himself in a car accident....)

My children's father thinks that he is super-dad and has never done anything wrong by his kids.  (I personally think cheating on their mom is not doing right by the kids, but that is a side point.)  To even suggest that he is putting them in danger, he will just laugh it off and probably threaten me with some court action.  He just graduated from law school, so pretty much any disagreement we have ends with him quoting (or misquoting) some law and threatening court....

Our divorce was final in January, so being on this side of things is still new to me.  Any suggestions?

[MixedBag]

about the only thing I can think of is to teach the kids not to get in the car unless dad is driving.

But that's hard because I know a 6-year old would be excited and think it's fun to drive.

Do you know any of the neighbors who would turn him in IF they saw it?

[Jade]

>So my ex-husband insists on having his 14-year old drive--and
>not just some little car, it's either Ford Expedition or the
>Dodge 4X4 truck.  It was a major point of
>discussion/disagreement when we were married.  Now I have no
>say in what he does with his daughter (from wife #1).  But she
>is driving while my children (ages 4 and 6) are in the
>vehicle.  Plus he takes my kids out of their booster
>seats/seat belts regularly, had my 6-year old "drive" the
>truck today.
>
>I was to the point of frustration that I called the local
>police to see if anything could be done.  Either someone
>witnesses it, then reports it as it is happening (not likely
>to happen.)  Or, the police officer advised that I call the
>court tomorrow to have visitation rights "cancelled."  I know
>that is not right, would never do that to my children.  But at
>the same time I am seriously concerned about the safety of my
>children.  (There was a local news story about 3 months ago of
>a woman allowing her 14-year old stepson drive, and he killed
>himself in a car accident....)
>
>My children's father thinks that he is super-dad and has never
>done anything wrong by his kids.  (I personally think cheating
>on their mom is not doing right by the kids, but that is a
>side point.)  To even suggest that he is putting them in
>danger, he will just laugh it off and probably threaten me
>with some court action.  He just graduated from law school, so
>pretty much any disagreement we have ends with him quoting (or
>misquoting) some law and threatening court....
>
>Our divorce was final in January, so being on this side of
>things is still new to me.  Any suggestions?
>

If you can prove it, you can get supervised visits.  Maybe that will send the message to the father that safety is important.  And if you talk to him about it and he threatens court, simply state:

What judge in his/her right mind would think that it is okay for an unlicensed, underage teen-ager to drive a 6 year old in a vehicle when the law clearly states one must have a license to drive?

Then walk away or hang up.  Arguing with him isn't going to get you anywhere, from what you have written.   He is trying to intimidate you, don't let him.  

And if you ever see this happening, call the police right away with the location.  

[mistoffolees]

>If you can prove it, you can get supervised visits.  Maybe
>that will send the message to the father that safety is
>important.  And if you talk to him about it and he threatens
>court, simply state:
>
>What judge in his/her right mind would think that it is okay
>for an unlicensed, underage teen-ager to drive a 6 year old in
>a vehicle when the law clearly states one must have a license
>to drive?
>
>Then walk away or hang up.  Arguing with him isn't going to
>get you anywhere, from what you have written.   He is trying
>to intimidate you, don't let him.  
>
>And if you ever see this happening, call the police right away
>with the location.  

Or better yet, get your video camera going - and call the police. Maybe there's a neighbor who will record it for you so he doesn't know you're there?