foreign parenting issues.

[zikzak]

hi...


I'm a non married father of  a 4 year old, my daughter lives in new Mexico with her mother.


I'm a Mexican citizen,living in Mexico and i had big differences with the mother of my daughter.


for me it feels like a kidnapping.

it pass 2 years before i could see her for 1 week last January.



before that when she was 2 and a half and we finally split.

 i try to have my daughter over and be with me some time.




 my daughter, the mother and i live together a year an a half so my daughter knows me and feels completely fine around me.

the first argument of the mother was that she was to little to be away from her.


the second argument was that she was still breast feeding at the, age of 3, and that to be away even for a couple of day will traumatize her.


the third argument was that she didn't had the money, i offer to pay for all the expenses of my daughter.

my intention was, she been 2 and a half, to be around her for a couple of days may be a week and having her getting a costume to me.

she refuse all this, saying my daughter will get very hurt inside been away from the mother, i offer that she could stay around in case something goes wrong.


she didn't accept and at that time i assume was her fears.


time pass and i didn't have access to see my daughter when she was almost 3 i ask the mother to come and to work things out in a way that we could work out on frame to establish times and ways to share our daughter.



she accept at first but from December to march things were getting delay.


till June when i ask her to see a mediator that could bring a solution, i propose to have a legal agreement where i was entitled to 5 areas of my daughters development.


education, health, culture, socializing and spirituality.


she didn't accept...because she didn't wanted to pay for that.


i offer that a person of her trust and i could work to build a legal agreement and then just if she accepted we have  Legally Binding Agreement.


but then she decide to take our daughter to compromises of her, that really creates a lot of conflict i was tired of been waiting almost 6 months and then she just took off to full fill her compromises with out any care on the fact that i needed to see my daughter.


i decide to walk away from any negotiation as i understood she didn't had really the will to work things out.


then December came again when i ask her to see my daughter.


this time she said i had a week to see her along with the mother all the time being around.


i accept and i spend a week with my daughter i use that time to evaluate as much i could how my daughter was developing under thus 5 areas culture,spirituality,education,health and socializing.


i let her mother know my observations and she agree on them.


finally i ask her to look for a legal agreement where i could be involved in thus 5 areas of her development and to share time with me.



she said she would do that but that my daughter will not go with me as she will be traumatize.


from December till today we didn't reach any agreement.


i don't know what to do from know on.


from one way it seems that i should look for legal advice.


but in the other way i don't know if I'm entitle to go legal option if I'm not married.



my case its a bit complex and deals with 2 nationalities.


if any one have same experience or knows about this topic please let me know.


I'm sorry if this is too long, i just try to explain the whole story.

[Jade]

Clearly, mediation is getting you nowhere.   You need to go to court to get a visitation plan set up.

[mistoffolees]

>Clearly, mediation is getting you nowhere.   You need to go
>to court to get a visitation plan set up.

I don't really know, but I suspect that US courts have no way to enforce visitation since the mother and daughter are in Mexico. When he talks with an attorney, he needs to make sure he finds an attorney with experience in dealing with child custody and visitation issues involving Mexico. It's going to be complicated.

[zikzak]

thanx for replying.


you are right negotiation didn't work and mediation failed.



but how court visitation works.


does the judge hears both sides or just set a time/place frame for visitations.


i ask because part of my priority is that grand parents are in a very delicate health situation and don't know if i will be able to bring my daughter with me to visit her grand parents?


and I'm the one in Mexico she is in the US, just for the record.

[mistoffolees]

>and I'm the one in Mexico she is in the US, just for the
>record.


Sorry, I missed  the 'New' part of 'New Mexico'.

My advice remains the same. Trying to settle custody and visitation issues across the border is going to be tough so you need an attorney who is familiar with that situation.