Child says she doesn't want to see him anymore!

[tharper001]

I've been posting lately on the 2nd family site, but wanted to bring this to the father's site for any insight that anyone can possibly share!

Background -- General Master's hearing was last Wednesday.  The custodial BM didn't show -- called in to say something had come up -- didn't leave a number, or a detailed reason.  Since the hearing had been scheduled since February and since my husband and I had returned from Canada a day early to attend, they proceeded with the hearing.  Gave us summer vacation, reasonable phone visitation, will compel the mother to finish the deposition that she stormed out of in April, will compel the mother to finish that deposition without the child with her, gave the okay for the psych eval.  Unfortunately we have not received this paperwork yet because of the holiday.

My husband received a very disturbing phone call from his daughter on Friday.  This was his normal weekend, and the visitation documents from 1994 specified his time for the 4th of July also.  His daughter left him a message that she did not want to see him and that if he lied and said it was her mother, that she would just not want to come anymore.  This child has never said this until this past week.  He did call her back and told her that she had no choice and that he would be there to pick her up at the allotted time.  Then the witch got on the phone and began her screaming and yelling and threatening harrassment charges if he showed up, etc.  He remained calm and kept repeating that he would be there at 6:00 pm, that it was his visitation weekend and that she should have the child ready.  He contacted his attorney's office, and they suggested he contact the police department and go to get his daughter with court papers in hand.  He did just that -- the cops met him at their house, but they were not there... therefore, no visitation.  He called and left a message that he was there to pick her up and sorry he missed her, but that he would see her soon.  Just in this weekend alone, there are three contempts of court -- visitation, 4th of July and no telephone contact.  And, once that order comes down from the G.M., there will be a fourth as summer visitation was to begin yesterday.

I am beside myself as a wife, as a stepmother... this poor child is being forced to say these things to her daddy -- because they are almost inseparable when they are together, and she always has a long face when it's time to go.  We know she doesn't want to say these things.  But, I am very concerned.  I didn't think the mother was going to become this desperate.  How desperate is she going to get?  Is she going to get so desperate that she accuse my husband of something unthinkable -- or, possibly RUN??????  This woman is a coniving, self-centered, despicable woman.  But I never thought it would get this bad.  The manipulation that this child is taking is so severe.  I just hope the psychiatrist will be able to determine this.

I guess the upside is she is just adding to our case for us... she doesn't think she has to show up for court, she has walked out of the deposition, now she has defied a court order for visitation by making her daughter tell her father she did not want to see him.  I hope our attorney can get an emergency hearing on these grounds of missed visitation.

I just can't believe that an individual would do this to their own child.  She is mentally unstable and just thinks she is above the law.  The good thing is, is that she doesn't even try to hide it.  Some people that manipulate children this way at least try to have that perfect persona that other people see.  She doesn't work this way.  People will know her for a while, then realize how wacked she is.  I just hope that his daughter can hang in there.  The courts move so slow and our hands are tied... thank goodness for prayer because my husband is at his wit's end.  Especially now.  His phone calls stopped being returned by his daughter after the deposition.  Now, she skirted the court date and is now withholding visitation.  I hope this woman gets what she deserves, and that we are able to save his daughter!

[stressedstepmom]

You and your DH have my prayers that everything works out for you. We are going through almost the exact same thing, but the BM is taking us to court on Thursday to try and stop summer visitation. She is recently involved in a new relationship and made plans for the summer for all of them as a family. Once DH stated that that was fine but he would still have his 6 weeks she started her crap again, and now all of a sudden both boys hate their father and don't want anything to do with him. They also state that it is their feelings and their mother has nothing to do with it. She is a textbook case of PAS. Those boys always have a wonderful visit and are always sad to leave. I just don't understand how these women don't see the pain they are causing their children. My DH and his ex have been divorced for 11 years and she still harbors feelings for him and is still very bitter over their divorce. I understand that a person needs time to adjust and that divorce is a big deal, but 11 years? Give me a damn break! She is going on and on that DH mentally abuses the boys and that they aren't stable because of him. All DH does is love his children and try and be there for them the best that he can. We never say a bad word about that woman in front of any of the children, and we don't allow any of the children to speak badly of her.
I really do hope that you two are able to save your step-daughter.  I know how stressful all of this has to be for you, how hard it is to have to be a witness to the abuse inflicted by someone who is supposed to have the best interest of their child in mind.