BM being unreasonable

[cassandragrace]

My BF has a parenting plan which states that BM is to submit quarterly statements to him for reimbursement for 1/2 of SD's copays and extraordinary medical expenses.  This was drafted over a year ago and BM gave us the first statement last week.  She is asking for immediate reimbursement for over $500 in medical expenses.  Her lawyer has already sent us a letter demanding reimbursement immediately or they will file for contempt of court.  Is BF responsible for immediate payment?  I told him he should pay  her for 1/2 of whatever expenses were incurred in the last 3 months, since that is the only quarter for which she has submitted a statement in a timely manner, and that they need to figure out a reasonable repayment plan for the rest, since it seems ridiculous that he is expected to pay for an entire year's worth of medical expenses in a two month period.
However, this is an additional problem.  BM and BF both have medical coverage for SD.  In July BM's insurance maxed out (explained in next paragraph) and reason for say that she could have just used the insurance card she has from DH for SD's appointments...well, she didn't.  And now she is asking DH to reimburse her for half of the medical expenses she incurred because of her neglecting to use his insurance.  This amount totals more than half of the $500+ she is requesting from BF.  
BM takes SD to the doctor and dentist CONSTANTLY, typically it is over nothing, or to try to get the doctor against BF in some way...EX: we got medical records from the last 5 appointments SD had at her doctor and in each one the doctor has in his notes that BM and her mother were asking the doctor if he thought "stress from being with her father overnight" could be the cause of whatever ailment (real or imagined) SD was 'suffering' from.

Question 1:  Do you think BF should be responsible for paying the additional medical fees when they were only incurred because BM refused to use his insurance for SD when she knew her's had maxed out?

BF and BM are about to go back to court...which BM knows and I think all of this is just a ploy to try to get the first 'jab' in.  They have been seeing a parent coordinator for over a year now and BM has consistently refused to give BF any additional visitation than what was in their initial court order...which in my opinion, working out additional visitation was the reason the courts ordered them into mediation in the first place...right?
Well, since BM has freaked out constantly in all of their sessions, the coordinator has ordered her into therapy, and BM is now on some sort of medication which she will not speak of other than that she is on it.  BF has been asking for shared custody, BM has admitted in their meetings with the parent coordinator that she doesn't want SD to have additional overnights with BF because she(BM) has 'panic attacks' when she is away from SD overnight.  However, this past week, BM went out of town for 4 days without notifying BF and left SD in the care of her mother...who lied to BF about why she, rather than BM was picking up SD (she said BM was in a group therapy session that was running late).  We did not find out that she was out of town (went to Mardi Gras) until the day she was to return.  BF had to go to BM's mom's house to be able to speak to SD since BM and her mother refused to answer or return any of the calls he made in those 4 days to speak with SD.  It is in their court order that each parent is to have the right of first refusal, it is also in their order that each parent is to make time each day for the child to speak to the parent they are not with, if the parent calls.  DH has records of making multiple calls each day to three different numbers...BM admitted in their parent coordination meeting that she did not answer his calls or tell him she was leaving town because...and this is a direct quote... "I didn't want you ruining my weekend"

Question 2:  Do you think this will have any affect on the decision of the judge when they go back to court?

I would think it would...most especially because SD admitted to BF that she wasn't supposed to tell us that BM was not with her last weekend because "mommy would get in trouble"

BM has a very long track record of manipulating SD and I think it is high time it ended.  The parent coordinator is making appointments for SD to go see a therapist to address these issues, and BM has already told her and BF that SD "will not be attending" as it is apparently "an unecessary stress"

What do you think of all this?  I'm at a loss.  The courts have failed us in the past...I hope that with the parent coordinator laying witness to all of this that BM will finally be seen for what she is, but I have my doubts.

Any opinions/advice?

[wendl]

why not contact the doctors and give them DH's medical insurance info and have them re-submit the claims. Let the courts know that the dr did not have DH's insurance info and you have contacted them to resubmit the claims

Just a thought.

I would also specify in the court order the DATE the forms are to be giving to DH and if BM fails to do so, then he should not be responsible for them.

Just my opinion
**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[cassandragrace]

>why not contact the doctors and give them DH's medical
>insurance info and have them re-submit the claims. Let the
>courts know that the dr did not have DH's insurance info and
>you have contacted them to resubmit the claims
>
>Just a thought.
>
>I would also specify in the court order the DATE the forms are
>to be giving to DH and if BM fails to do so, then he should
>not be responsible for them.
>
>Just my opinion
>**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

BF suggested to BM that she contact the doctor/insurance and do just that.  She is claiming she has already tried speaking with SD's doctor and that the fees are as they stand, and that's that.  I don't believe this is so, it just doesn't sound right.
I will suggest to BF that he call and speak to the Dr. on Monday...I just find it so ridiculous that we have to constantly clean up her stupid messes.  She doesn't even notify BF about the appointments...which she is legally obligated to do, and he asks her constantly about them and about where the statements are, yet she waits until a couple months before a new court date is set to drop all this stuff on him.  I know it needs to be sorted out and that is what is most important..and it's a moot point, I guess, but why isn't she responsible for sorting out the messes she makes?
As for the date...no specific date is specified but it does that AT THE END OF EACH QUARTER, which is obviously every 3 months for anyone who can do math...she works for a bank, you think she'd understand the concept...

When it comes down to it...money is money, it's going to be spent on something anyway, and if it's for SD (whether it's truly a need or not) we will pay it, but I see it as just another attempt by BM to put additional stress on our lives and to have some B.S. "issue" to bring up in court to try to take away of the important things that are going on...

[MixedBag]

I agree with DAD contacting the doctors and cleaning up her mess.

I've been doing that for YEARS behind EX#3's EX, and even my EX#2 who refused to give hospitals and doctors anything past HIS insurance.

I know for one insurance you had up until about 23 months back (current year and previous year), where stuff could get refiled once the right information was in their hands.

AND EX#3 took the position that Mom didn't follow the insurance rules, so MOM should pay.  Judge agreed with him.

I'd also lean towards if she has to give you information every three months, then dad has three months to pay her back.

[wendl]

I know how you feel when my husband was laid off a few years ago, yss went to the hospital, mom put dad down as the responsible party for payment even though she knew he did not have medical ins and she had state insurance. It took my 6 months to push the bill back onto the state.

We pulled our credit report a few years back and my husband had a large amount of collections for unpaid medical bills that he knew NOTHING about, bills went to her house and never given to my husband.

Your hubby will need to step up and call the Dr's give them copies of insurance cards etc and work with the billing department to clean this us.  Mom isn't going to care why should she is doesn't realy (usualy hurt her) it is just another way to try and screw the dad.

Keep you head up, remember if you want anything done right you need to do it yourself.

I would also put a spefic date even it you list the last day of the 3 months that way their is NO confusion what quarterly etc means.  Some people are not the brightest crayons in the box.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**