Child's activities

[jmwelser]

My ex-wife refuses to enroll my son in any sports or activities because, "She doesn't feel like taking him" He lives in another town than I, my ex doesn't work and tells my son he can't join because I won't take him to practice. My son lives an hour away from me so I would never get there in time to take him to practices. I know this may sound petty but is there anything I can do about this?

[nosonew]

Unfortunately, nothing can be done.  Well, until your son is old enough to stand up to his mother and demand it...or demand to live with you.  Perhaps you could (can you afford this?) talk to an attorney and request a GAL be involved for his best interest.  Children who participate in sports usually do better in school than those that don't.... do some research..

[jmwelser]

What is a GAL? My son desperatley wants to play soccer and baseball and I will do whatever I can to get him involved. My current wife tried to sign him up in the town we live in but they won't allow him to play. He also has problems in school getting along with other children and listening to authority so I view sports as a necessity to help him with those issues.

[true]

Hey there,

Nothing irks me more than when parents say "no" to activities that a child would like to try, participate in these programs out there help a child in a variety of ways. It irks me when the parent blames the other parent who has now been put in the "impossible" position of wanting to but other than moving heaven and earth he/she cant make it happen. I am also disappointed that a community that you and your spouse reside in "refuses" your child the ability to participate as well. I would think that there should be a way around it.

There is no way to force a parent to do things for the child that you request during "their time". My ex refused to allow me to take my daughter to her pre-school graduation even though he didnt plan on taking her. Its been like that for years now, currently my daughter needed to attend summer band, nope its during "parenting time" doesnt matter that now she may attend band but not particpate in any marching events......ie: trip to Florida, Homecoming etc. It's his time the court told me there will be "nothing" that interferes with "His Parenting Time". So I am working with the band instructor, with that all said my best thought is that you will have to do some creative assistance for your child in order for him to particpate.

I wish you much luck,
true

[mango]

Sounds to me that maybe a conversation with the other parent about the activites signed up for is important.

If both parents need to sacrifice time, travel or money to allow the child to participate, then both parents need to be involved in the decison process to enroll.

Going over the schedule, the costs, travel, and the camps that go along with these things. How the activities evolve long-term etc. etc.

We are dealing with this in court now. The other side of the coin, then you. BM is trying to force dad into taking daughter to a swim club that is year-round and practices daily and has meets on the weekends. Plus it's 40 minutes travel each way to go to practices. Add this to homework, private piano lesson, and private flute lessons. (all of which father agreed her to particpate with) (big commitment)

Well, dad can't physically do this with a 50/50 plan. BM enrolled and tehn filed ocntempt on father. She had no right to interfere in his time to this degree. It's simply a tactic to interfer with his relationship with his daughter more then it is to allow for SD to swim. He also has 3 small kids and can't be expected to travel weekends and spend every evening at a pool/club, just because one child wants it. Plus teh cost is crazy! We already fork over $80 in flute lessons per month, my own kdis can't do activites because of SD.


Then no one in his family will ever see their dad if he is taking her to this every night. It is way demanding.

Kids need to learn they have to make family compromises and other alternatives can be worked out.
 
But BM basically tells SD that dad is horrible for not allowing her in the club, and he cares nothign about you etc. etc.

We offered private swim lessons, or the swim club in our area, or rec centers, or YMCA, but BM refused. Had to be her club, in her neihborhood, or nothing. No bending to allow for her to swim.

We have mandatory mediation this week, and court in November, but so far the magestrate says mother had to consult father prior to puttingher inthe activity to begin with and she ws notlikley to rule in the BM's favor.

Ok, I'm done.

[Lawmoe]

If you share legal custody, it is a joint decision. However, if you want the child to participate and she does not, you may have to foot the bill.'

A court will often order both parents to thake the child.

[jilly]

It's SUPPOSED to be a joint decision but from my experience it's not. My DH's ex will enroll SD in Brownies, t-ball, etc. and tell DH AFTER the fact. She thinks that this will discourage him from getting SD on his weekends but all he does is tell her "Well, I'll take her to her game." He did ask the ex for calendar/troop leader name & number for Brownies and all he got was a handwritten list of activities. Needless to say, we never took her to any Brownie related events. This woman would love nothing more than for DH to disappear so she and her hubby can play house. Naturally that's not going to happen. Fortunately for DH he's married to a very stubborn woman! LOL

[wendl]

I feel for you, I was single mom for year and my son has played baseball since he was 3 (he is now 12) I feel sports or extra activities are great for kids.

Sad thing is this summer my oss asked dh if they had  a baseball team in our area that play weekends only :( poor kid wants to play sports or at least try, but bm doesn't sign them up. OH wait she did 2yrs ago but let the kids quit. (we too live over an hr from bm)

How old is your son, maybe you can talk to a coach and see if maybe due to the situation that your son could play with a local team on the weekends.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**