Pros & Cons of Daycare

[NJDad]

Dear Fellow SPARCsters,


I am the residential parent of a beautiful little girl who is 3 ¾ years old and quite social. She was born in December, so she will not be attending kindergarten for two years. Currently, she is staying home during the school days, with a babysitter, while her three older siblings go to school.  

I would like to enroll her in a 9 AM to 3 PM daycare program near home to give her the chance to play and interact with other children, as well as learn various tasks. This facility has the standard daycare regime as well as offering gymnastics and a swimming pool. Many of the other neighborhood families already place their kids in daycare programs and it's not just because of work related issues.

The Ex claims that it is too much time for a girl her age to be in a daycare facility and, for me to save money, I should just entertain free township and county library programs a couple of times per week - even though there would be no extra support charges for her to pay. Additionally, she says that at most I should only entertain part-time daycare sessions twice each week. She says that placing our daughter in daycare would be a disservice since she would not be getting the one-on-one attention she deserves.


I would like to construct a list of the pros and cons for entering a child into daycare to supply to our children's counselor.


Thanks. Any help would be greatly appreciated,
Wayne

[joni]

my son was 2 when he started his preschool program.  It was 3 mornings a week for 3 hours.  When he was 3, the program graduated to 5 mornings per week for 3 hours.  This continues until Kindergarten,  when he'll be attending all day when he's 5.

I think for a child who's never been in a program, 9-3, five days a week is alot.  I think a 5 day a week, 3 hour program would be fine.  Next year, she could go the full 9-3.

My son is outgoing anyway but the preschool environment has taught him additional discipline and educational abilities beyond I could ever provide.  It's also wonderful to be able to take some energy away from him.

I disagree with your Ex, children get more attention at preschool/daycare than they do at home.  It is focused, structured, tested regimens.  At home, unless the baby sitter has a degree in preschool education, I don't see them giving focused attention like that.

[wendl]

My son started fulltime daycare when he was 5 months old (he is 13 now).

I think preschool is great she is old enough for it, not only will she make friends, they do learning activities, projects etc. Nothing wrong with doing this.

Many parents put their kids in daycare when their children are a few months old, never killed them to be in daycare, it also helps for when they start school so they can disengage from the parents and not cry etc when school time starts, they offer structure as well.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[ocean]

How about a compromise...does that same facitlity have a part-time program until she turns 4 then have her switch to full-time if she is doing okay? If she is with a babysitter at home anyway then I do not see the real issue. Like the other posters state....MANY children go to daycare. They learn social skills, letters, some places have computers, languages,..etc...  Maybe get the daycare's pamphlet that tells all the "great" things they offer and copy that ..LOL Good luck!!

[nosonew]

Is it a DAYCARE or PRESCHOOL Program?

My children have been in DAYCARE since 8 weeks.. due to my work. Preschool began at age 3 (2 days per week 3hrs/day) and at age 4 (4 days per week 3 hrs/day). My DD4 could easily to 6 hours per day...she would love it. It is not offerred in our community.

However, preschool OR daycare... 6 hours per day is not too much for an almost 4 year old. My kids went to daycare up to 12 hours per day at 8 weeks... and they are perfect!

You NEED to socialize the kids... but if the OTHER parent is available... they should get first dibs if they choose to do so. Although, I would think you could possibly find a preschool 2-3 days per week perhaps to compromise?

[CustodyIQ]

Hi,

If you enroll her in an NAEYC accredited preschool program (comparable cost to daycare), you'll be assured that the preschool is staffed by people educated in child development, has a structured curriculum (i.e., not just glorified babysitting), and shares the same goals with you as building socialization and developmental proficiency for her age.

You can look up facilities that passed the rigorous NAEYC accreditation process at //www.NAEYC.org.

I agree with the others that 9 to 3 is a very long day for a 4 year old.

Perhaps you may want to consider a half-day, five days a week... it'll expose her to what you think is best for her, and it'll give her daily consistency.

I disagree with the mother's perspective that only going a couple days a week is beneficial.  You want your child to have a daily, predictable routine and to build friendships through daily contact.  Randomly coming and going to a program won't give her that.

[dontunderstand]

I have to tell you that I agree with all of the above.  The key is to find a GOOD daycare.  Accredited is better.  My daughter and her friend are almost 4 months apart.  My daughter loved it.  She socialized, learned a tremendous amount, she is definately ready for school and then some.  My friends child is not social and he is not anywhere near being ready for school. (From my friends mouth)  My niece is the same and she was in daycare for a short amount of time.  NO, I am not saying it is only becasue of daycare, but I think it is a good developmental tool for interacting with others and starting school.  Just my 2 cents!

[4honor]

(Headstart) because of eye problems which led to gross motor developmental delays (he was afraid to walk cause he couldn't refocus after taking a step and it was obvious.) This program was free to us and was mornings (or afternoons) only on 4 days a week. He did well. He is not shy with peers now. He learned A LOT. He began about the same age as your DD.

When he went to kindergarten this past year they got to the end of his patience long before they got to the limit of his abilities. He tests out at 2nd grade reading & spelling levels... but they think he is higher than that... he just got bored and refused to test any longer. I do attribute his ease of learning to his early pre-school education. He was learning how the system works while he was still in his "formative years".

I am one of 6 kids. I was the only one to go to pre-school (they called it Kinder College) and was the only one who found it easy to get good grades. Don't get me wrong, my brothers are all just as intelligent as I am,. but they had to work to get the good grades to prove it. It was easy for me... I think it is because it became natural for me to respond to an educational setting before I had a fully formed personality. Interacting in school became a small part of who I am.

Now is the perfect time for her to be enrolled. and 3-6 hours is the right amount of time --You know your child, can she take the longer time away from home to begin with, then that is what you need to do.

[flewwellin]

I actually think that daycare isn't beneficial, I used to work at a daycare for a long time and know that as much as the teachers and directors would like to sell you on what they do, pre- K is actually far better.  They truly concentrate on getting the children ready for kindergarten thru social interactions with other children but they also mentally stimulate them.  My SD went to one and she was actually 6 wks more advanced than the kids in her Private school.

[mj]

My wife operates a small daycare.  It is quite cool because each day she has a couple childeren that are enrolled in a PreK program that will leave for a few hours each day.  

So, find a daycare that provides additional services, like rides to preK and you'll have the best of both worlds.