Cell Phone

[rltfox]

How young is too young for a cell phone? The only phone CP has is a cell phone, so all calls to son have to go through her. 99.9% of the time she doesn't answer the phone, although everytime we see her she has it on her. Things that make you go hmmmmm . . .

Anyway, the majority of the messages we leave are not given to son. We know because we have asked him "Did you get our messages?" We left a message on Wednesday asking for son to call back ASAP because it was important we talk to him that night (summer camp issue), but we still haven't heard back 5 days later.

So we are *considering* purchasing a cell phone for son. We had previously decided he should be 13 before we would get him one. But we are so sick of not being able to have direct access to him that we are thinking about getting one of those kid cell phones. The cost is relatively low & can share minutes with our current plan. The phones can only call 4 phone numbers preset by the parent & also 911.

He is very responsible & will take good care of it. We are more worried about the phone or charger mysteriously vanishing. We are also struggling with going back on our decision of waiting until he's 13. So any thoughts you have would be appreciated.  Thank you!

[Sherry1]

it wouldn't surprise me if the charger or the phone "mysteriously" disappears.  The only other way you could address it is to file a custody modification that will require the CP to have a land line phone or to provide the child with a cell phone so you can have access.

[Sunshine1]

Don't even get me started on the cellphone!  It was all fine and dandy when she needed to call the boys all week but as soon as it went to her house she took it away and changed all the settings, checked the voicemails, turned it into the cops and made us drive an hour to pick it up from them AFTER the drop off...you name it she did it.  

Well currently there is an RO prohibiting her from calling our home, so we fixed her wagon.  We cancelled the phone, and now DH just calls her cellphone (no landline as well..same trick) from his cell so as to not violate the RO.  She HAS to answer, it is expressly ordered for her to do so (RO's are on her and I).  She hasn't called for them since, she is still calling that other number or texting I should say, she never calls and then says we are blocking her Blah, blah blah..the boys already know we don't have the phone anymore..anyway moral of this story, get a court order making her get a landline or a cellphone and a set phone visitation schedule.  There is an outline on here in the articles page under the parenting plans.  There are a few different ones so read them all and compile your own.

Don't start this cellphone thing unless you are sure BM will cooperate and judging by your post...that ain't bloody likely!

Keep us posted

[MixedBag]

the subject is "lack of communication between child and NCP"

Focus on that, read your order to see what it says and then go from there (contempt, modification, or clarification)

[catherine]

look into these //www.fireflymobile.com

Great options and can prevent HER from using kids minutes.

[416021va]

Everthing I buy the child ends up in the garage, broken, or taken to child's step-parents construction site where it gets broken.

Everything I buy my child dissapears. Call me spiteful for telling the truth. It is the truth. Be careful.

Not saying that this will apply to you.

[CNTD]

I have thought and discussed with my wife about getting the firefly for my child.

My wife and I have come to the agreement that it would cause more agitation than it would benefit my child.

I would ask myself a question prior to purchasing the cell phone: What is the likelihood of the CP allowing the cell phone to be kept and utilized?

I do think that if the child is old enough to know how to use a phone that he should have access to call the NCP without having to go through the CP and get the "why do you want to call NCP?" every time.

I think that if you can convince the CP that it will benefit her as well, that she will be able to contact the child at all times, and in case of an emergency he's able to call 911.

[awakenlynn]

Our ex has a cell phone and a landline and we are still denied communication with SD.  She has tried twice to give SD a cell phone.  The first time was 2 years ago(sd was 11) and we said no.  We put the phone up immediately.  Ex needed to call SD through our phone line.

She gave SD a cell phone again this summer.  SD is now 13.  Ex doesn't understand that we have rules too.  Cell phone is off when dad is at work.  It doesn't leave the house and she still has to let us know she is going to call mom.  We won't stop her, we just need to know she is going to.

Unfortunately, you are the NCP.  When the child is at the CP's house, it is their rules, not yours.  She has every right to take the phone away if she chooses.  Your best bet is as the other poster says.  Take her to court and set up a specific time table for when calls are made and by what means.  Check your laws and see if you can tape your calls.  What does it hurt if the answering machine/voice mail picks up.  If you can record the time and date and back it up with the phone records, then you can prove she is withholding the communication and would be in comtempt.

As to the preset number phones, my nephew has one(he is 11) and the family has no landline.  The first thing he figured out was how to reprogram the phone to make what phone calls he wanted.  If need be, and the kid can do it, so can the parent.  There is no sure way to lock the numbers in.