Need some advice...

[gemini3]

My ex called and said that my child told her something happened that didn't.  She has a history of making false allegations and, as usual, she threatened to call social services, etc.  Well, usually I try to pacify her as much as possible because I don't want to "bait the bull" so to speak, but I'm really fed up with this stuff, especially because I feel like my reaction has caused people to be more likely to believe the stuff she comes up with.  So, this time I told her to call my lawyer, which is what I thought I should do.

Well, now that's been twisted around and I'm being made to look like I have a problem communicating with her because the child allegedly said this happened, etc.  My attorney suggested that I ask to sit down with her and the child to talk about this.  I did, and she refuses to meet with me in person.  She will only agree to do it over the phone (said she would put me on speakerphone so we all could talk).  

I'm worried that the ex has been coaching her, because I know that this thing didn't happen.  I also have no idea who else is going to be listening in on the conversation, and that really bothers me.  I won't be able to tell if she's telling my child what to say, and I have the distinct feeling that I'm walking into a trap.

I know it's important that we communicate, but it's really difficult when you're constantly being accused of things that you didn't do.  I'm trying to figure out the best way to handle this without making myself look guilty or looking to the judge and GAL that I don't want to communicate with my child's mother.  

Can I just insist that we meet in person to discuss, or do I now have to talk to her about this over the phone?  I'm really uncomfortable with doing this over the phone for some reason.  Any advice and/or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks.

[Kitty C.]

Maybe you can talk her into meeting some place neutral and you each bring along a third party to observe.  Tell her she can even record the conversation (you have to be willing to go thru with this).  Tell her all this is so that you BOTH can protect the child and each of you.

And if that doesn't work, tell her the only other alternative is using both attys., which SHE would have to pay for if SHE insists on it.

[gemini3]

My ex called and said that my child told her something happened that didn't.  She has a history of making false allegations and, as usual, she threatened to call social services, etc.  Well, usually I try to pacify her as much as possible because I don't want to "bait the bull" so to speak, but I'm really fed up with this stuff, especially because I feel like my reaction has caused people to be more likely to believe the stuff she comes up with.  So, this time I told her to call my lawyer, which is what I thought I should do.

Well, now that's been twisted around and I'm being made to look like I have a problem communicating with her because the child allegedly said this happened, etc.  My attorney suggested that I ask to sit down with her and the child to talk about this.  I did, and she refuses to meet with me in person.  She will only agree to do it over the phone (said she would put me on speakerphone so we all could talk).  

I'm worried that the ex has been coaching her, because I know that this thing didn't happen.  I also have no idea who else is going to be listening in on the conversation, and that really bothers me.  I won't be able to tell if she's telling my child what to say, and I have the distinct feeling that I'm walking into a trap.

I know it's important that we communicate, but it's really difficult when you're constantly being accused of things that you didn't do.  I'm trying to figure out the best way to handle this without making myself look guilty or looking to the judge and GAL that I don't want to communicate with my child's mother.  

Can I just insist that we meet in person to discuss, or do I now have to talk to her about this over the phone?  I'm really uncomfortable with doing this over the phone for some reason.  Any advice and/or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks.

[Kitty C.]

Maybe you can talk her into meeting some place neutral and you each bring along a third party to observe.  Tell her she can even record the conversation (you have to be willing to go thru with this).  Tell her all this is so that you BOTH can protect the child and each of you.

And if that doesn't work, tell her the only other alternative is using both attys., which SHE would have to pay for if SHE insists on it.