Tanning Bed

[FL Step Mom]

My husband's ex picked up their two girls (6 & 11) for her visitation this weekend.  Father has school time custody, and mother has summer time custody.  With alternating weekends during both.

She works in a tanning salon and took them both to tan.  All we can find is that if a parent signs a form, and stays in the room, it is allowed for the child to tan.

Is there any way we can un-allow tanning in a tanning bed by the children?  Is there some kind of form we can fill out and give to the tanning salon?  Or would we have to go all the way to a judge to stop the practice?

I realize this seems like a small matter, and it may be now.  But what happnes in the summer when she has them all week and wants to take them daily?

Thanks for any advise.

[Kitty C.]

Write up an agreement (maybe even get it court-ordered) that the BM must cease and desist taking the children for tanning until they are 18 years old OR both parents agree to it.  If she refuses, then SHE will be responsible for ALL future medical costs related to the damage done by the tanning at such an early age.

Walk carefully on this one.........this may be one of those issues you will have to pick and choose.  If you have to 'give it up', make sure the children are educated on what the benefits AND disadvantages to tanning are.  Especially the disadvantages.......show them examples if you have to, even if it's graphic.  Skin cancer can start at a very early age or may not appear for years, and they need to know what the consequences are.

[FL Step Mom]

Thanks Kitty,

I had a feeling there wasnt anything we could really do "legelly", but I thought I would see if anyone knew of anything.

I know she wont sign anything, and she will keep taking them, even if it is just to upset the father.

We really arent worried about the medical costs, we are just worried about the health of the children in general.  The youngest came back with a sun burn and was sick to her stomach after the session.

Thanks for your reply though.

FL Step Mom

[Kitty C.]

.........about the medical costs.  Treating cancer is not cheap.  And what I meant by the BM paying for ALL FUTURE medical expenses, that included anything incurred AFTER the children turn age of majority.  If they were to develop skin cancer, even 20 years down the road, and tell their oncologist that they spent a lot of time in tanning beds when they were children, I would bet the oncologist would consider that a huge red flag.  They may even be able to tell, through testing, that melanomas later in life stem from tanning early in life, who knows.  And too many people are dying from melanoma, something that can be easily preventable.

Keep any documentation you get on this.  If you ever have an opportunity to take the girls to their doctor, or accompany them to an appt., make sure the doctor is aware of what the girls are being forced to do.  It's very possible that this might be a form of abuse.  Talk to an oncologist, if possible, to get their feedback on the situation.  Just doing that may raise enough of a red flag for an investigation.

And this is the biggie:  if either of the girls ever come to your home with burns again (ESPECIALLY if the weather didn't coincide with it), take them to a metro hospital ER, one capable of treating abuse patients.  Get it documented and ask for a report to be filed.  Get third party involvement.  No, you really don't have a legal 'edge' or anything you could readily file, like contempt.  If you tried, it would possibly look vindictive.  But third party involvement, especially from a medical standpoint, will have a much bigger and longer lasting impact.

[FLMom]

I agree wholeheartedly that if you ever see burns or one of the kiddos is sick to their stomach, get some documentation at a local hospital. Also, as this can be heriditary, you should also let the doc know if anyone on either side has a history of skin cancer.

Ya know, having a day at the beach and missing a spot with the sunscreen is one thing, but letting those kids sit in a tanning bed at their ages just reeks of irresponsibility.

As someone who has had a big swatch of skin cut out of their back this past year (14 stitiches!), I know there are things that I could have done when I was younger to prevent the big C. We didn't have that knowledge back then though, unlike today where it's commonly known.

This is akin to taking your kids to the hospital and letting them play around an x-ray machine. A person with a decent noodle wouldn't dream of doing that either.