Worried Spouse of a Fausly accused Father

[Polgara]

Dear Soc:
3 yrs 6 mos and 4 days ago, my husband saw his children for the last time.  His, now ex-wife, fausly accused him of sexual abuse towards one of his daughters.  She filed charges against him the same afternoon she found out he was having an affair with me.

I can only say that the battle was horrible.  In order to stay out of prison my husband gave up his house and negotiated with his ex to have the charges reduced to a misdomenor.  As of this date the solicitor has yet to pick up this case.  DSS and family court closed the case.

In the court orders my husband was required to take a test from a physcologist. and that his daughter had to be seen by a counselor.  It was set up that he would have supervised visitation if he complied with the court order.  He did this willingly.

Unfortunately we had to relocate after the evaluation , My husbands father was ill and needed fulltime care.

the way that the court order was written it ended up giving the ex the right to say yes or no, and also to the 9 yr old daughter.

The devistation that this arrangement has had on my husband is pitious.
He has tried to commit suicide 5 or 6 times, he has been hopilalized 4 times for a breakdown.  He is unabel to work to pay his child support which also causes extreem stress on him.  

He writes, sends gifts, calls her grandparents to check on her but all efforts to bridge this chasm of dispare have been a failure.

At this time we are so broke that we are living with my parents and I have a job that gets us by.  

The child has suffered so bad that she is now in therapy twice a week.  He feels that she is being counceled for the wrong reasons.  We are sure the she is afraid to have contact with him because of what she has been told by her mother.

We cannot afford an attorney and there is no one willing to guide us through this ungodly hell that has become our life.

We could really use a helping hand on what to do.  My husband unfortunately is so afaid that his ex will try and put him in jail again that it is hard for him to follow through with any action I suggest.

Anything that you can suggest would be greatly apprcieated.

[socrateaser]

>Dear Soc:
>3 yrs 6 mos and 4 days ago, my husband saw his children for
>the last time.  His, now ex-wife, fausly accused him of sexual
>abuse towards one of his daughters.  She filed charges against
>him the same afternoon she found out he was having an affair
>with me.
>
>I can only say that the battle was horrible.  In order to stay
>out of prison my husband gave up his house and negotiated with
>his ex to have the charges reduced to a misdomenor.  As of
>this date the solicitor has yet to pick up this case.  DSS and
>family court closed the case.
>
>In the court orders my husband was required to take a test
>from a physcologist. and that his daughter had to be seen by a
>counselor.  It was set up that he would have supervised
>visitation if he complied with the court order.  He did this
>willingly.
>
>Unfortunately we had to relocate after the evaluation , My
>husbands father was ill and needed fulltime care.
>
>the way that the court order was written it ended up giving
>the ex the right to say yes or no, and also to the 9 yr old
>daughter.
>
>The devistation that this arrangement has had on my husband is
>pitious.
>He has tried to commit suicide 5 or 6 times, he has been
>hopilalized 4 times for a breakdown.  He is unabel to work to
>pay his child support which also causes extreem stress on him.
>
>
>He writes, sends gifts, calls her grandparents to check on her
>but all efforts to bridge this chasm of dispare have been a
>failure.
>
>At this time we are so broke that we are living with my
>parents and I have a job that gets us by.  
>
>The child has suffered so bad that she is now in therapy twice
>a week.  He feels that she is being counceled for the wrong
>reasons.  We are sure the she is afraid to have contact with
>him because of what she has been told by her mother.
>
>We cannot afford an attorney and there is no one willing to
>guide us through this ungodly hell that has become our life.
>
>We could really use a helping hand on what to do.  My husband
>unfortunately is so afaid that his ex will try and put him in
>jail again that it is hard for him to follow through with any
>action I suggest.
>
>Anything that you can suggest would be greatly apprcieated.

You're not gonna like this, but based on your facts as posted, my suggestion is that you tell your husband to stand up and start acting like a man or you're gonna divorce him. He's messed up because he didn't fight for his rights -- instead he gave in and let his ex walk all over him.

He continues to ad insult to injury by engaging in self-destructive behavior. And, you are being regularly injured as a consequence of his continual playing the victim.