I need some guidence.

[Bigbird79]

Dear Socrateaser,   Iowa

     I am new this posting thing, but heard very favorable info on your answers.  So, I am going to make a long story short, and ask you a few questions.  I was divorced in 2002, with my ex receiving primary and myself EOW/Alt Holidays.  Two months later, she files for modification of visitation based on a false sexual abuse claim.  The claim is unfounded by DHS, so we agree, I assumed wrong, to drop and work amicablyinstead of taking this to court.  

     She goes to court, receives default judgement, I get supervised visitation, and the boot is that she did not accuse me of sexual abuse, but my brother, who lives in another town.  So, I take the Supervised visitation, and I don't fuss, big mistake I know, she continually denies it.  While speaking to her online on MSN Messenger, she admits she lied about dropping the modification hearing.  I have this printed out.

     Now, I have asked her and I have asked her lawyer to go to voluntary mediation, gotten no response at all.  She refuses to let me see when I have my court ordered time, and any other time.

     I know I made many mistakes.  But I am good father, I call to talk to my child every night, granted It takes about 3 nights of phone calls before I can talk to her, but I do call.  I was showing up for visitation, when was denied, called sheriff to file report, they have all but 2 times refused to write anything up, do anything about it, so I just stopped calling them in.

     The Sheriffs in that County are useless to me, they will not cooperate, because they say the order is too vague. So no help from them.  I want to modify, and atleast get back my eow/holiday visitation.

1.  I am doing this pro-se and want to modify.  Do I modify the original order or this Supervised visitation order?

2.  I would like to get extra parenting time with this, how do incorperate it into the modification papers?

3.  Can I use the letters to ex wife and her attorney asking for voluntary mediation as evidence that I want to work this out outside of court instead of fighting in court?

4.  The denials of visitation are not only from after the modification hearing, but before also, can those be used too?

I hope I am being thourough enough and clear enough.

Thank You for your help,

Tonyjames (Bigbird79)

     

[socrateaser]

>1.  I am doing this pro-se and want to modify.  Do I modify
>the original order or this Supervised visitation order?

Neither. You move to modify custody/visitation.

>
>2.  I would like to get extra parenting time with this, how do
>incorperate it into the modification papers?

You provide a proposed parenting plan, detailing what you believe to be a fair division of parenting responsibilities.

>
>3.  Can I use the letters to ex wife and her attorney asking
>for voluntary mediation as evidence that I want to work this
>out outside of court instead of fighting in court?

You can, but it's irrelevant to the question of whether there is a substantial change in circumstances affecting the child's best interests, which is what you will need to show FIRST in order to get a custody hearing.


>
>4.  The denials of visitation are not only from after the
>modification hearing, but before also, can those be used too?

If you can prove them, and it's not clear to me from your facts that you can.

PS. Your chat messages are objectionable as lacking any foundation, i.e., you must prove that the conversations actually took place, and there's no way to do that. You could have manufactured the chat transcripts yourself, so this will not help you at all.

What you need to do is to serve notice on the CP that you intend to record all conversations between yourself and CP or child going forward, and then file that notice with the court. Then, carry a dictation recorder with you at all times and record every conversation, whether face to face or on the phone. Eventually, the CP, assuming she is as controlling as you claim, will trip up and give you some compelling evidence that you can use for a contempt motion, which will get you proof that the mother is acting against the child's interests, which will satisfy the change of circumstances requirement predecate to a new custody hearing.

You can also sue CP in civil court for slander on the grounds that she falsely accused you of abuse. How successful you would be depends on the exact charge and subsequent findings of Child Protective Services, and I don't have any facts for further analysis.

Next time, fight for your rights.