Need a spin doctor

[4honor]

DH under three orders (CS, PP, and Temp Order -- last most current and it basically only orders EOW accces to Father... worded "Father will exercise his residential time every other weekend beginning ______________ date from X PM on Fridays to Y PM on Sunday").

3 hr drive between BM and DH. Holidays defined in PP as 12 noon to 6 PM. DH has odd Christmas. BM has odd Christmas eve. PP says father has child from beginning of winter break through 6 PM on Dec 23.

DH's EOW were/are the 12-14 and the 26-28th. DH's Atty insists this order trumps all else because of the wording and the fact it is most recent... Temp Order does not go into holidays, special occassions and does not require a trade to occur for DH to get his holidays.

It does allow for make up if Father's time is prempted by an "historical" activity of the CHILD's.  Basically treat's visitation of the father(NCP) as the only thing that needs made up... (common sense, as BM has the child most of the time anyway.)

BM and her atty are stating that BM will pick up child on 23, and DH must pick up at noon on 25th, BM will retrieve on 25th at 6PM and DH must pick up again for weekend visitation. That is the letter of the law. DH will do it if necessary, BUT...

DH wrote a letter to BM and to her atty that if she was refusing to go by the way things were done for the last 6 years and went strickly by the letter of the orders, then he would, but DH was open to any other arrangement that was in child's best interest... as the temp order allowed for an agreement to be signed by both parents in order to make changes.

1. Since there is now writing that makes DH look a bit inflexible, how does DH propose waiting for his weekend 26-28, so that Child and all his siblings... both families... does not have to travel 6 hours in the car on Christmas Day?

2. Is this one of those damned if you do, and damned if you don't situations..? (if he insists on Christmas with child, he is harming child, if he doesn't use his time, he is considered "disinterested"?)

3. BM has neither gotten child into counseling or scheduled w/ mediatior as she was ordered to do. Order is 60 days old. Is there anything we can do to prod.... er uhm..... coerce.... er uhm.... encourage her compliance with the order?

[LizaLou1]

It's along long story but my cousin (just in time for Christmas) lost the joint custody he had been granted 2 years ago.  He was awarded joint custody of his then 2 yr old along with the maternal grandmother because the BM (never married) was a drug addict.  It was a joint effort with the child living with the GM.  However, when the GM got what she wanted she turned on my cousin.  The GM has filled the past 2 years with backstabbing manipulations.  Anyway, one of the reasons he lost custody was because he did not take every visitation (never mind that many were denied by the GM).  But, he did not take his entire summer month.  The GM begged him not to put the boy in day care.  So, he agreed to only take the weekends thinking it was in the best interest of the child (the distance to her house precluded daily travel).   He also did not take some of his normal weekends because "plans" had been made for the boy.  The promises of make-up time were never fulfilled.  These incidents were later used against my cousin to support his "abandonment" of the child.  It was also used against him that no support was provided other than insurance.  But, before you see red, know this.  He offered support and the GM REFUSED it thus the court never ordered it when joint custody was decided.  The GM even returned his money when he tried to pay.  It's really twisted when the court uses its own failure to require support against a man who tried to pay it.

Don't misunderstand this case was much more complicated than discussed here but just wanted to let you know how not taking visitation can get misinterpreted.  

Good Luck.

LizaLou

[socrateaser]

>1. Since there is now writing that makes DH look a bit
>inflexible, how does DH propose waiting for his weekend 26-28,
>so that Child and all his siblings... both families... does
>not have to travel 6 hours in the car on Christmas Day?

You just write the other parent and say, "can't we work something out to make it easier on both of us?" If you can't then you're stuck.


>
>2. Is this one of those damned if you do, and damned if you
>don't situations..? (if he insists on Christmas with child, he
>is harming child, if he doesn't use his time, he is considered
>"disinterested"?)

If you have a final custody hearing pending, I would be making that drive without other sibs, to show how committed a parent you are.


>3. BM has neither gotten child into counseling or scheduled w/
>mediatior as she was ordered to do. Order is 60 days old. Is
>there anything we can do to prod.... er uhm..... coerce.... er
>uhm.... encourage her compliance with the order?

Send notice that you intend to file a motion for contempt in 10 days if you do not receive notice of the name of the counselor and the appointment time, etc.