Does the school have to allow Dad to be involved?

[NotGivingUp]

Hello Soc,
We are in CO.  

DH and BM were in court almost 2 years ago and court order that resulted stated that if the oldest SD worked 15 hrs per week or more then CS is reduced by $300.  As soon as BM learned that SD's income affected her check, she forced SD to quit.  As soon as the proceedings were complete, SD went back to work and BM did not disclose it.  We knew it was going on, but for the sake of the kids we did not pursue it.  (She made life very difficult for the kids when angry at DH and I.)

Since all settled down, BM called the Child Support Family Services office multiple times every month, demanding an audit of their case and a re-count.  CSFS kept putting her off until her calls started coming 3-4 times per day.  Finally they decided to give her what she wanted.  They called the Department of Labor and obtained SD's work records.  Now she owes DH $4000 in arrearages.  

BM had been fighting with SD over a check that she asked SD to write for BM's car payment that BM did not cover.  When she learned that she owed DH $, it was the proverbial straw that broke the Camel's back. She completely lost it and kicked 18 yr. old SD out of the house.  (She had full custody.)  This is the second time she has kicked SD out over financial issues.  The first time it was because SD broke up with a rich boyfriend and BM deemed her selfish and not thinking of her family's needs.  We have let SD move in with us providing she focuses on completing her last semester at school and develops a plan for the future.  She has been with us for a week and it has been pretty nice.  She keeps saying how great it is to not be in a house where there is constant arguing.

So today she was running late for school due to traffic and asked if I could call and excuse her tardy.  (DH is out of town on business for a few days.)  I called but the school would not excuse her on my request because neither Dad nor I am listed on the emergency contact card.  I said that her mother threw her out and what do we need to do?  They called BM and she said she refuses to give over any "legal" rights and she will not excuse SD.  She told the Vice Principal that she kicked her out for not attending school.  

SD went to talk with BM tonight (on BM's unusually polite request) and BM told her she could move back in. SD refused.  SD asked her to change the emergency card and BM refused.  

Now for my questions:  SD is 18.  There is no court order saying Dad cannot be involved in the kids' education, but BM is the primary custodial parent, (I think they used to call it full custody).  Can the School refuse to allow DH to change the emergency contacts for SD?  Should SD pursue emancipation?  She is so close to legal age we do not wish to go through a custody battle at this point.  Our biggest concern is that she finishes school and gets some healthy distance from her mother.  We don't care about getting child support reduced or receiving anything from her mother so emancipation would be fine with us.  We would continue to help her if she were not legally dependent on us.  What does the law say?  We would like to avoid attorneys and courtrooms if possible.  There are two other minor children still in BM's house that would suffer greatly if it went that direction.

Thank you for your time,

NotGivingUp

[Peanutsdad]

>Hello Soc,
>We are in CO.  
>
>DH and BM were in court almost 2 years ago and court order
>that resulted stated that if the oldest SD worked 15 hrs per
>week or more then CS is reduced by $300.  As soon as BM
>learned that SD's income affected her check, she forced SD to
>quit.  As soon as the proceedings were complete, SD went back
>to work and BM did not disclose it.  We knew it was going on,
>but for the sake of the kids we did not pursue it.  (She made
>life very difficult for the kids when angry at DH and I.)
>
>Since all settled down, BM called the Child Support Family
>Services office multiple times every month, demanding an audit
>of their case and a re-count.  CSFS kept putting her off until
>her calls started coming 3-4 times per day.  Finally they
>decided to give her what she wanted.  They called the
>Department of Labor and obtained SD's work records.  Now she
>owes DH $4000 in arrearages.  
>
>BM had been fighting with SD over a check that she asked SD to
>write for BM's car payment that BM did not cover.  When she
>learned that she owed DH $, it was the proverbial straw that
>broke the Camel's back. She completely lost it and kicked 18
>yr. old SD out of the house.  (She had full custody.)  This is
>the second time she has kicked SD out over financial issues.
>The first time it was because SD broke up with a rich
>boyfriend and BM deemed her selfish and not thinking of her
>family's needs.  We have let SD move in with us providing she
>focuses on completing her last semester at school and develops
>a plan for the future.  She has been with us for a week and it
>has been pretty nice.  She keeps saying how great it is to not
>be in a house where there is constant arguing.
>
>So today she was running late for school due to traffic and
>asked if I could call and excuse her tardy.  (DH is out of
>town on business for a few days.)  I called but the school
>would not excuse her on my request because neither Dad nor I
>am listed on the emergency contact card.  I said that her
>mother threw her out and what do we need to do?  They called
>BM and she said she refuses to give over any "legal" rights
>and she will not excuse SD.  She told the Vice Principal that
>she kicked her out for not attending school.  
>
>SD went to talk with BM tonight (on BM's unusually polite
>request) and BM told her she could move back in. SD refused.
>SD asked her to change the emergency card and BM refused.  
>
>Now for my questions:

1. SD is 18.  There is no court order
>saying Dad cannot be involved in the kids' education, but BM
>is the primary custodial parent, (I think they used to call it
>full custody).  Can the School refuse to allow DH to change
>the emergency contacts for SD?

2. Should SD pursue emancipation?
> She is so close to legal age we do not wish to go through a
>custody battle at this point.  Our biggest concern is that she
>finishes school and gets some healthy distance from her
>mother.  We don't care about getting child support reduced or
>receiving anything from her mother so emancipation would be
>fine with us.  We would continue to help her if she were not
>legally dependent on us.  

3.What does the law say?  We would
>like to avoid attorneys and courtrooms if possible.  There are
>two other minor children still in BM's house that would suffer
>greatly if it went that direction.
>
>Thank you for your time,
>
>NotGivingUp


Breaking your questions up will make it easier to get them answered. More than likely tho, you will need to post the exact text of the CO in order for you to get anywhere.  

Good luck tho,, and keep us posted :)

[socrateaser]

If the child is 18, then she is legally an ADULT and she can excuse herself from class. The duty to pay child support is not dependent upon whether or not the child is a legal adult or not. The right of a parent to exercise custody over a child ends on the child's 18th birthday, absent a court order expressly stating otherwise.

The duty to pay support does not end until the court orders it ended.

[socrateaser]

If the child is 18, then she is legally an ADULT and she can excuse herself from class. The duty to pay child support is not dependent upon whether or not the child is a legal adult or not. The right of a parent to exercise custody over a child ends on the child's 18th birthday, absent a court order expressly stating otherwise.

The duty to pay support does not end until the court orders it ended.