dear Soc,

[bananas]

Soc,

You tell everyone else that a court order is a court order and if it's not followed, to file contempt.  Fight for your rights, "it's your child too", etc.  Yet when I tell you that I haven't seen my son for the last two court-ordered visits, and probably won't see him for my upcoming visit, you basically tell me I'm SOL and wasting my time if I file contempt.  I'm frustrated.

I don't think it should matter how old the child is when a parent is trying to visit their own child.  Yes, I realize they have friends and a life beyond their parents, but why must I prove that the other parent is responsible for not encouraging visitation?  The simple fact that the child is not coming for visitation indicates to me that the mother is not encouraging him to come.  If he doesn't come for spring break, I will not have seen him in over a year.

I have a transcript of a court hearing in which the mother says "the child didn't want to come for visitation, so I didn't make him".  The judge asked her, "if your child doesn't want to go to school, do you let him stay home?"  The mother's response was "No", but I think this went far in showing that she does not encourage visitation.  The judge saw right through her ploy.  This transcript is from 1999.

The mother moved my child far away from me.  I petitioned the court to modify my vistation to accommodate her move, which they did.  The mother then was not following the visitation schedule so I filed contempt.  Instead of finding her in contempt, the court implemented a new order where I pay for plane tickets in exchange for a CS reduction.  This was my idea.  I hoped this would encourage the mother to send my son, as she was essentially paying for tickets ahead of time out of her CS.  Well, this obviously didn't work either.  There have been times when I bought tickets and my son still didn't come.

The mother has not changed her address with the court.  The court retained jurisdiction here even after mother moved.  They keep sending her things that she isn't getting, because she failed to notify them of her change of address.  My proposal in my initial post was to file pro se, knowing she wouldn't get her copy and won't show up for court.  I would win by default.

Since you did not address this in my last post, please allow me to ask you this:

1.  Do you think that I should file contempt pro se, in the hopes that the mother won't get the notice to appear, and thus I would win by default?  This was the whole point of even filing.  I'm not worried about whether I would win in a trial, because I don't think it will even get that far.

I'm sorry if I came off as abrasive and confrontational, but it's hard when you tell everyone else to go for it, but because my son is 18,  you tell me I'm wasting my time.  If you still feel that way, then I will drop this issue.