What will she need to prove her claim?

[concerned]

My husband has a 5 year old child with his ex girlfriend.  Custody has never been determined, but the mother is acting as though she is the custodial parent.  When she got pregnant with her new husband's child she filed for child support.  My husband has been paying as ordered and has filed for allocation of parental responsibilities and parenting time.  My husband has always provided for the child's needs and has a great parent-child relationship with the child.  On the court paperwork for the parental responsibilities and parenting time the ex is claiming that my husband does not have a strong familial relationship with the child, that he is not able to provide a safe, nurturing, stable environment for the child (she has only been to our house once 2 years ago right after we first moved in), and that it would be in the best interest of the child not to have a continuing mutual relationship with both parents.  Yet she has been letting the child stay the night at our house on occasion.  

She has been trying to alienate the child from my husband, has been making her keep secrets from him, and makes her feel guilty for wanting to see her Dad.  The ex's new husband talks bad about my husband (even though he doesn't know anything about him), intimidates the child by yelling at her, and treats her poorly in other ways.  It seems as though the new husband wants the rights of my husband.  It's very possible that the new husband is influencing the ex because her behavior has changed drastically towards my husband and his family.  She used to make decisions about the child with my husband or let the child make her own decision, now she wants total control even if it hurts the child.  My husband has always been cooperative with the ex and she has not always been cooperative with him.

What does the ex need to prove her claim?

What does my husband need to prove alienation?  What does he need to prove that the new husband is not fit to be around the child?  Could this help him become the custodial?        

Thank you!!

[socrateaser]

>What does the ex need to prove her claim?

Nothing. It's up to you to prove that you have established and maintained a parent-child relationship. In the absence of a court judgment awarding custody, the biological mother of a child  born outside marriage is the sole custodial parent -- PERIOD.

>What does my husband need to prove alienation?

Expert testimony from a child psychologist showing that such alienation is taking place.

>What does he need to prove that the new husband is not fit to be around the child?

Objective evidence of past sexual or physically abusive behavior by the new husband -- absent that, you're not gonna prove it.

Could this help him become the custodial?

Absolutely, if such evidence exists, because it would show th mother's bad decisions on the part of the child. But, you show no facts suggesting that you can prove such behaviors, so I can't evaulate this further.  

[concerned]

Thank you very much for your response Socrateaser.  

Is the biological mother of a child born oustide marriage the sole custodial parent in every state?

I understand now that my husband has to prove he has established and maintained a parent-child relationship.  Could you give me some examples of what the court may look for to prove the parent-child relationship?  Are such things as pictures and receipts something that may be useful?

The ex wants the child to only spend one night every other weekend with her Dad continuing during the summer.  Is this something the court might find reasonable instead of allowing him to have her the whole weekend?

We have no proof that the new husband is sexually or physically abusive.  She has said that she has been "whipped" by him, but we believe she meant spanked.  He is the only person who has ever spanked her, but I'm assuming that's probably considered discipline and not abuse.  

Thank you!  

[socrateaser]

In the future, please adhere to the mandatory forum guidelines, or I won't respond.

>Is the biological mother of a child born oustide marriage the
>sole custodial parent in every state?

Yes, until the court makes further orders re custody.

>
>I understand now that my husband has to prove he has
>established and maintained a parent-child relationship.  Could
>you give me some examples of what the court may look for to
>prove the parent-child relationship?  Are such things as
>pictures and receipts something that may be useful?

Pictures, videos, anything that shows that an ongoing parent-child relationship exists, so that the court will determine that it is in the child's interest to maintain the relationship, is useful. Receipts showing that the father is actually spending money to support the child, even absent a court order for support, is also valuable.

>The ex wants the child to only spend one night every other
>weekend with her Dad continuing during the summer.  Is this
>something the court might find reasonable instead of allowing
>him to have her the whole weekend?

The younger the child is, the more disposed the court is to give the mother the majority of the time. Most jurisdictions have a standard parenting plan. Find yours and see what it says about very young children, because that is what the court is likely to order, absent compelling proof from you that some other arrangement is more in the child's interests.

>
>We have no proof that the new husband is sexually or
>physically abusive.  She has said that she has been "whipped"
>by him, but we believe she meant spanked.  He is the only
>person who has ever spanked her, but I'm assuming that's
>probably considered discipline and not abuse.

Raise the issue in court and ask for a psyc eval on the child to determine the validity of the statement. There is a big difference between spanking and whipping and that might give you a lot of leverage if it turns out that the step-father is abusive.

Also, make sure that you get a paternity test. Don't just assume that the child is yours -- you could get a big surprise.