Her Attorney Wants to Talk to Me

[Stephens Dad]

Long story short: I'm representing myself as we modify visitation. I've been going back and forth with letters with her attorney not making much progress (mostly due to her making accusations about me). In my last letter, I did mention that court and another background investigation and/or evaluation may be necessary to disprove her accusations.

On March 1, 2004 I received a fax from her attorney worded in a pleasant manner wanting me to call and make an appointment to speak with her. My feelings are that I may have the upper hand at this point.

My first reaction is to fax her back suggesting what times I'd be available for her to call me, but I wanted to get some suggestions from everyone on why all of a sudden does she want to talk to me.

1. What kinds of attorney tricks could she be up to?

2. Should I have her call me instead of me calling her?

3. Should I be open to resolution over the phone?

4. Any idea why this sudden change in tactics?

Any input would be great.

thanks!

john

 

[DecentDad]

Hi John,

Soc will no doubt provide answers to your questions.

The only time I ever made a huge mistake in my custody case is when I attempted negotiation in person with my ex's attorney.

In such negotiation, I was at an extreme disadvantage, had no idea of the validity of the legal jargon coming out of the attorney's mouth, and had to fend off some strong-arm tactics while trying to stay unemotional and focused on what I wanted.  It was virtually impossible, and I blew it.

There's no reason why you can't negotiate in correspondence.  That gives you time to think about what's being said, to consult with other folks, and to draft a coherent reply.

Best,
DD

[Peanutsdad]

John,


My experience was much like DD's. Ex's attrny tried strong arm tactics and legal jargon with demands of "surely you can agree in general to this...."

Essentially, what he wanted me to agree to, was an extremely inflated cs figure, SOLE physical for her and joint legal .

As many here know, I calmly refused, and informed him,, we'll see it thru the courts.


I am CP now.

[Stephens Dad]

Thanks for your comments, I was helpful.

john

[Stephens Dad]

Thanks for the input, this is exactly what I needed to hear.  I felt this maybe the attorney's tactic.  Fortunately, it will be a phone conversation and I've been rehearsing while driving.

My hope is to learn what their intentions are, then get back to writing asap.....

Thanks again

john

[socrateaser]

>1. What kinds of attorney tricks could she be up to?

Pro se litigants almost always lose themselves in their cases emotionally and give away important tactics to the other side during an oral meeting.

>2. Should I have her call me instead of me calling her?

Irrelevant.

>3. Should I be open to resolution over the phone?

No. Always reserve your decision for after a good night's sleep. Send a letter to the attorney stating that you are confirming a phone meeting on date and time X, that you intend to record the entire conversation, and that regardless of anything discussed during the conversation, that no settlement agreement shall be binding except by notarized written agreement signed by both parties to the action.

>4. Any idea why this sudden change in tactics?

Not enough facts.