Professional Opinion Please

[Forgotten Father]

I have a 13 yo son that is living with his mother.  I was granted shared parental responsibility in June of 03.

The order specifically spells out the types of information that should be shared between the parents and in what fashion they should be shared.  It also states that we should cooperate in providing full and active opportunity for both to parent the child.

Since the order was put into effect the mother has refused to provide me any information regarding my son's medical care.  She has not sent his educational records as spelled out in the order and has refused to provide me any information regarding my son's current juvenile legal issues (my son has been put on probation, ordered community service and just finished a 50 day stay in Juvenile Detention).  

He was given 50 days because he removed an illegal weapon (knife) from his home.  Of course mom and step dad didn't even realize if was gone for over a month.

The probation was set in November and he was ordered to perform 50 hours of community service.  As of today not one of those hours has been perform.  My ex says that it is my son's responsibility to contact and schedule his own community service (once again he is 13) and she is now suggesting that I use my half of his summer vacation to have him perform his community service.

She is also upset that I will not let her change around the visitation schedule so that she will have my son to babysit for her while her other children are in town for the summer.

I have spoken with my attorney and he has made some suggestions as to how to deal with all this but I guess I wanted a second opinion.

1. Do the above referenced circumstances put me in a position to effectively seek physical custody?

2. If so what would be your course of action on this?

You stated to me earlier that I need to be careful what I wish for and I understand that, but I really feel that any child that is unsupervised as much as my son would be in the same boat.  I also know that if there were weapons left accesible to me as a young man I would have probably done the same thing...so who is really the problem.

Thank you so much for your time.

Forgotten Father

[socrateaser]

>1. Do the above referenced circumstances put me in a position
>to effectively seek physical custody?

Only if the court is informed and orders her to toe the line and she continues to defy the court.

>
>2. If so what would be your course of action on this?

I would send her a notice discussing all of your concerns and detailing the various incidents, stating that technically her actions are in contempt of court, and that the last thing you want to do is ask the court to find her in contempt, but that if you cannot come to an arrangement that resolves your concerns, that you will have no alternative to do so.

Then, tell her that if she doesn't respond to you within 15 days, that you will assume she intends to maintain the most adversarial position possible, which you believe is not in your child(ren)'s best interests, and that you will seek appropriate legal relief.

Then, follow through.


>
>You stated to me earlier that I need to be careful what I wish
>for and I understand that, but I really feel that any child
>that is unsupervised as much as my son would be in the same
>boat.  I also know that if there were weapons left accesible
>to me as a young man I would have probably done the same
>thing...so who is really the problem.
>
>Thank you so much for your time.
>
>Forgotten Father