Custody battle almost over

[LoriG]

You may remember my case from a year or so ago. My husband's exwife married a convicted sex offender (11 year old stepdaughter). We filed for custody 3 years ago and have done everything including the evaluation, etc. necessary.

The NEW husband was required to have testing done (plythysmograph) sp?. He did not pass and was ordered out of the home in October of 2003.

In November, after an appeal, he was ordered to stay out. Ok to the point, my husband let him move back in because he is now on a transplant list and was very sick during the holidays.(sympathy). The judge and guardian ad litem had no knowledge, but the 2 lawyers drew up a document that was never signed by my husband.

In December we noted a change in the kids. We asked him to leave the home, a legal letter was sent by the lawyer, the counselor told him to leave, his lawyer told him to go, the guardian told him to leave. He hasn't left.

The guardian now has filed for a review hearing on April 13 to see how counseling has gone (his ex didn't like what she heard going on and called the counselor and went nuts) and to either file contempt of court against his ex or to see if his medical condition will play a role in this.

The last order stated that if he was back in the home we would be given immediate custody. It also states that he must pass the test to come back in.

Question:Is the bottom line going to be that they are in violation of a court order (we never called the police on the advice of the family counselor) and based on the order custody is turned over to us?  or is the judge going to scold us for having some sympathy?

[socrateaser]

First, a court order is NOT optional, so you can't allow this person to move back in -- it's beyond your authority. If he knew of the order, and the order was valid and enforceable, and he defied the order, then that is contempt.

The only defense is inability to comply. Your consent is not sufficient to overcome his duty to comply, but it might be enough so that the court would only admonish rather than sanction him.

It also might be enough to show that he's not a real danger to the child, and therefore that the restraining order should be set aside.

So, you kind of have a little strategy problem now, because going back to court on a contempt charge could backfire on you.

It's a total crapshoot now.

[LoriG]

#1. We never officially told him he could move in. Her lawyer drew up the paperwork. My husband didn't feel good about it and didn't sign it.
We were given the impression, since he was hospitalized at the time, that he very ill. We found out later that wasn't true.

#2. 2 weeks after moving in, my husband called his ex and told her the change in the childrens behavior was noticeable again and we wanted him out. At that point, we went to lawyer, sent her a notice to get him out. The guardian then got involved along with counselor calling and visiting telling him to get out. Her lawyer told her to get him out. He still isn't out.

Question: 1. Does any of the above change your previous answer?


#3. His ex will be trying to play on his medical condition to keep him in the home. It really has nothing to do with the case. He is still ordered to pass the test to stay there.

Question: Have you seen judges reverse their previous order for a sex offender due to illness? (He has diabetes and needs dialysis 2x week in which he can do it himself; he is also back at work.)

[socrateaser]

>#1. We never officially told him he could move in. Her lawyer
>drew up the paperwork. My husband didn't feel good about it
>and didn't sign it.
>We were given the impression, since he was hospitalized at the
>time, that he very ill. We found out later that wasn't true.
>
>#2. 2 weeks after moving in, my husband called his ex and told
>her the change in the childrens behavior was noticeable again
>and we wanted him out. At that point, we went to lawyer, sent
>her a notice to get him out. The guardian then got involved
>along with counselor calling and visiting telling him to get
>out. Her lawyer told her to get him out. He still isn't out.
>
>Question: 1. Does any of the above change your previous
>answer?
>

No.


>
>#3. His ex will be trying to play on his medical condition to
>keep him in the home. It really has nothing to do with the
>case. He is still ordered to pass the test to stay there.
>
>Question: Have you seen judges reverse their previous order
>for a sex offender due to illness? (He has diabetes and needs
>dialysis 2x week in which he can do it himself; he is also
>back at work.)

No.

Please do not intersperse facts with questions. It's too difficult to read your post quickly.

[nosonew]

Just some FYI for you regarding his illness.  As a dialysis charge nurse, (I do chronic hemodialysis) it sounds like he is doing peritoneal dialysis, in which a tube is inserted (permanently) into his abdomen and he can do "exchanges" which cleans his body of toxins at home.  I don't know any patient that only has to do this 2 times per week, most hemo patients do it in a facility 3x weekly for 3-5 hours per day, and peritoneal patients do it 3-5 times daily at home depending on their size/weight/labs.

Also, this illness WON'T prevent him from sexually abusing anyone. And unless he has been a "brittle diabetic" (one that has extreme difficulty regulating blood sugars" he has just either 1. Wasn't diagnosed early enough to prevent kidney failure or 2. (most likely) did not take care of his disease/ate wrong/didn't medicate himself as ordered by doctor.

Don't let them play on your feelings regarding his illness/diseases.  He likely did this to himself regarding dialysis/kidney failure.  Guess this is God's little payback.  And also, since he is now has immune deficiency, he shouldn't be around kids for his health, as they are always getting sick.  

Good luck and don't let them bully you/guilt you into anything! Kids FIRST!

[LoriG]

You may remember my case from a year or so ago. My husband's exwife married a convicted sex offender (11 year old stepdaughter). We filed for custody 3 years ago and have done everything including the evaluation, etc. necessary.

The NEW husband was required to have testing done (plythysmograph) sp?. He did not pass and was ordered out of the home in October of 2003.

In November, after an appeal, he was ordered to stay out. Ok to the point, my husband let him move back in because he is now on a transplant list and was very sick during the holidays.(sympathy). The judge and guardian ad litem had no knowledge, but the 2 lawyers drew up a document that was never signed by my husband.

In December we noted a change in the kids. We asked him to leave the home, a legal letter was sent by the lawyer, the counselor told him to leave, his lawyer told him to go, the guardian told him to leave. He hasn't left.

The guardian now has filed for a review hearing on April 13 to see how counseling has gone (his ex didn't like what she heard going on and called the counselor and went nuts) and to either file contempt of court against his ex or to see if his medical condition will play a role in this.

The last order stated that if he was back in the home we would be given immediate custody. It also states that he must pass the test to come back in.

Question:Is the bottom line going to be that they are in violation of a court order (we never called the police on the advice of the family counselor) and based on the order custody is turned over to us?  or is the judge going to scold us for having some sympathy?

[socrateaser]

First, a court order is NOT optional, so you can't allow this person to move back in -- it's beyond your authority. If he knew of the order, and the order was valid and enforceable, and he defied the order, then that is contempt.

The only defense is inability to comply. Your consent is not sufficient to overcome his duty to comply, but it might be enough so that the court would only admonish rather than sanction him.

It also might be enough to show that he's not a real danger to the child, and therefore that the restraining order should be set aside.

So, you kind of have a little strategy problem now, because going back to court on a contempt charge could backfire on you.

It's a total crapshoot now.

[LoriG]

#1. We never officially told him he could move in. Her lawyer drew up the paperwork. My husband didn't feel good about it and didn't sign it.
We were given the impression, since he was hospitalized at the time, that he very ill. We found out later that wasn't true.

#2. 2 weeks after moving in, my husband called his ex and told her the change in the childrens behavior was noticeable again and we wanted him out. At that point, we went to lawyer, sent her a notice to get him out. The guardian then got involved along with counselor calling and visiting telling him to get out. Her lawyer told her to get him out. He still isn't out.

Question: 1. Does any of the above change your previous answer?


#3. His ex will be trying to play on his medical condition to keep him in the home. It really has nothing to do with the case. He is still ordered to pass the test to stay there.

Question: Have you seen judges reverse their previous order for a sex offender due to illness? (He has diabetes and needs dialysis 2x week in which he can do it himself; he is also back at work.)

[socrateaser]

>#1. We never officially told him he could move in. Her lawyer
>drew up the paperwork. My husband didn't feel good about it
>and didn't sign it.
>We were given the impression, since he was hospitalized at the
>time, that he very ill. We found out later that wasn't true.
>
>#2. 2 weeks after moving in, my husband called his ex and told
>her the change in the childrens behavior was noticeable again
>and we wanted him out. At that point, we went to lawyer, sent
>her a notice to get him out. The guardian then got involved
>along with counselor calling and visiting telling him to get
>out. Her lawyer told her to get him out. He still isn't out.
>
>Question: 1. Does any of the above change your previous
>answer?
>

No.


>
>#3. His ex will be trying to play on his medical condition to
>keep him in the home. It really has nothing to do with the
>case. He is still ordered to pass the test to stay there.
>
>Question: Have you seen judges reverse their previous order
>for a sex offender due to illness? (He has diabetes and needs
>dialysis 2x week in which he can do it himself; he is also
>back at work.)

No.

Please do not intersperse facts with questions. It's too difficult to read your post quickly.

[nosonew]

Just some FYI for you regarding his illness.  As a dialysis charge nurse, (I do chronic hemodialysis) it sounds like he is doing peritoneal dialysis, in which a tube is inserted (permanently) into his abdomen and he can do "exchanges" which cleans his body of toxins at home.  I don't know any patient that only has to do this 2 times per week, most hemo patients do it in a facility 3x weekly for 3-5 hours per day, and peritoneal patients do it 3-5 times daily at home depending on their size/weight/labs.

Also, this illness WON'T prevent him from sexually abusing anyone. And unless he has been a "brittle diabetic" (one that has extreme difficulty regulating blood sugars" he has just either 1. Wasn't diagnosed early enough to prevent kidney failure or 2. (most likely) did not take care of his disease/ate wrong/didn't medicate himself as ordered by doctor.

Don't let them play on your feelings regarding his illness/diseases.  He likely did this to himself regarding dialysis/kidney failure.  Guess this is God's little payback.  And also, since he is now has immune deficiency, he shouldn't be around kids for his health, as they are always getting sick.  

Good luck and don't let them bully you/guilt you into anything! Kids FIRST!