How damaging is this?

[DecentDad]

Hi Soc,

In depo a few days ago, biomom was asked about her desire to move 400 miles away, what she envisions the custody arrangement would look like for our 4 year old daughter.

Biomom was adamant about the following:

*  No overnights with me when I go "visit" twice monthly (what she's proposing).

*  No alternating of Christmas time due to biomom's "rich family tradition" that daughter can't miss.  I have yet to spend Christmas with daughter.

* No alternating of Easter time due to biomom wanting it.

*  No travel of daughter back to my home during the first year (and all she would say is "we'll see" for any future years).  Daughter has her own bedroom in my home-- loves it-- and has always shared a one-bedroom apt with her mother.

*  No extended summer vacation time with me in 2004 (and a "we'll see" for future years).


She currently has minimal income in our city but has a trade that is most commonly pursued in only a couple cities in the country (current city being one of them, and move-away city not).  She's moving away "to be closer to family" and doesn't have a job lined up.

She said in depo that she doesn't work full-time because she wants to be a mother.  She acknowledged in depo that someone with her experience and education could earn $5,000/month.  Her past years' IRS forms has her AGI less than $3,000/year.

She continues to claim that I don't observe Christmas (or Easter, which she also wants for herself), but also acknowledged in depo that my house had Christmas decorations on it, and that daughter came back to her with an Easter basket from my home.

Without any evidence other than her own testimony, she continues to say how much daughter hates coming to my home.  My witnesses, submitted photographs, evaluator's presumed observations, and submitted videotapes show otherwise.

I had daily contact with daughter during her first year, and I've had 3-4 days/week contact with daughter since then.  My [now] wife has been in daughter's life since Dec 2001, and they also have a very affectionate, bonded relationship.  

I'm approx 25% NCP going for sole custody at trial next month, and we've been on temporary orders for 3 years.  We're still awaiting report from 730 evaluator.

1.  Assuming evaluator doesn't see me as an incompetent parent, how much relevance does her attitude have on judge's decision to let her take daughter away with her... and would you share this depo with the evaluator who already said that he's finished gathering information unless something major arises?

Thanks, Soc, as always.

DD

[socrateaser]

>1.  Assuming evaluator doesn't see me as an incompetent
>parent, how much relevance does her attitude have on judge's
>decision to let her take daughter away with her... and would
>you share this depo with the evaluator who already said that
>he's finished gathering information unless something major
>arises?

It all depends on how well the evaluator and your attorney present the evidence. The mother may be HIGHLY advsersarial and hostile towards you, but if the court believes that the child is better off in the primary care of the mother, you will lose.

Otherwise, you will win.

[DecentDad]

The whole process is just frustrating... there's so much wildcard element to it, no matter the strategy or high-road taken.

Thanks, Soc.