Questions...

[Forgotten Father]

I have written several times regarding my son.  He has been on probation through the juvenile justice system since december 03. He has continued to act out with his mother. I have had him for visitation several times over the last year and have had no problem with him.

Anyway my ex called last night to tell me that the judge was going to order my son into a residential treatment program for 1 year.  This is what she has been pushing for all along.  I understand that my son is acting out but I really feel that she is driving him absolutely crazy.  He is constantly grounded and they have keyed locks on everything in the house (including the refridgerator).

He has the mindset that he is already locked up so what does it matter.

I was attempting to convince the judge to allow me to take him and see how he responds in my home before sending him to the program, but my son has upset the judge now and I don't think that will be an option.

Ok now to my questions:

1.  Do I have a case to file for custody of my son while he is in this program so that when he is released he is released to me?

2.  Can I ask for a modification of the child support order during the time that he is not living with his mother but in the program? (honestly I would rather make a monthly donation to the facility than pay her for her long awaited vacation)

3.  I have joint custody (legal and physical w/ex as primary residential parent) so would I be allowed to attend the special counseling and family weekends and get home visits as allowed through the program or would I have to have my ex's permission for this?

Thank you for all your help.

forgotten father

[socrateaser]

>1.  Do I have a case to file for custody of my son while he is
>in this program so that when he is released he is released to
>me?

Well, I'd say that this is definitely a substantial change in circumstances. Whether or not you can prove that the mother is the "cause," and therefore that you should be awarded primary custody is the question.

>
>2.  Can I ask for a modification of the child support order
>during the time that he is not living with his mother but in
>the program? (honestly I would rather make a monthly donation
>to the facility than pay her for her long awaited vacation)

Yes, but you will BOTH (you and mother) probably be ordered to compensate the State for the cost of the treatment program. So, it won't be a free pass.
>
>3.  I have joint custody (legal and physical w/ex as primary
>residential parent) so would I be allowed to attend the
>special counseling and family weekends and get home visits as
>allowed through the program or would I have to have my ex's
>permission for this?

For this, you must ask the judge to allow it.

[Forgotten Father]

I received a call from my ex this evening to confirm the meeting that we have tomorrow with the probation officer and my son's therapist to discuss his placement in a program.

My ex was upset because they had just come from a therapy session.  At the session the therapist asked my son why he would take a bottle of wine onto the roof of his mothers house.

My son stated that he did not understand what the big deal was because his mother and stepfather give him beer and wine all the time.  He stated that on fishing trips and at parties they give him alcohol all the time.

At the end of the session the therapist turned to my ex and told her that he thinks he has finally found the origin of my son's behavior problems. My ex did not understand what he meant and stated that she does not give my son alcohol all the time.  She says that they have given him a beer here and there but that my son makes it sound like they let him drink.

I find this behavior disgusting and abusive.

Should I bring this up in the meeting tomorrow?

Does this help prove at all that my ex is the cause of my son's current situation?

Thank you,

Forgotten Father

[socrateaser]

It's just another piece of evidence, if you can get it into the court record. I'm not sure what the conditions of your meeting with the therapist are, so I don't know if this info is privileged. If not, then I'd definitely want the court to know about it.

[Forgotten Father]

I have written several times regarding my son.  He has been on probation through the juvenile justice system since december 03. He has continued to act out with his mother. I have had him for visitation several times over the last year and have had no problem with him.

Anyway my ex called last night to tell me that the judge was going to order my son into a residential treatment program for 1 year.  This is what she has been pushing for all along.  I understand that my son is acting out but I really feel that she is driving him absolutely crazy.  He is constantly grounded and they have keyed locks on everything in the house (including the refridgerator).

He has the mindset that he is already locked up so what does it matter.

I was attempting to convince the judge to allow me to take him and see how he responds in my home before sending him to the program, but my son has upset the judge now and I don't think that will be an option.

Ok now to my questions:

1.  Do I have a case to file for custody of my son while he is in this program so that when he is released he is released to me?

2.  Can I ask for a modification of the child support order during the time that he is not living with his mother but in the program? (honestly I would rather make a monthly donation to the facility than pay her for her long awaited vacation)

3.  I have joint custody (legal and physical w/ex as primary residential parent) so would I be allowed to attend the special counseling and family weekends and get home visits as allowed through the program or would I have to have my ex's permission for this?

Thank you for all your help.

forgotten father

[socrateaser]

>1.  Do I have a case to file for custody of my son while he is
>in this program so that when he is released he is released to
>me?

Well, I'd say that this is definitely a substantial change in circumstances. Whether or not you can prove that the mother is the "cause," and therefore that you should be awarded primary custody is the question.

>
>2.  Can I ask for a modification of the child support order
>during the time that he is not living with his mother but in
>the program? (honestly I would rather make a monthly donation
>to the facility than pay her for her long awaited vacation)

Yes, but you will BOTH (you and mother) probably be ordered to compensate the State for the cost of the treatment program. So, it won't be a free pass.
>
>3.  I have joint custody (legal and physical w/ex as primary
>residential parent) so would I be allowed to attend the
>special counseling and family weekends and get home visits as
>allowed through the program or would I have to have my ex's
>permission for this?

For this, you must ask the judge to allow it.

[Forgotten Father]

I received a call from my ex this evening to confirm the meeting that we have tomorrow with the probation officer and my son's therapist to discuss his placement in a program.

My ex was upset because they had just come from a therapy session.  At the session the therapist asked my son why he would take a bottle of wine onto the roof of his mothers house.

My son stated that he did not understand what the big deal was because his mother and stepfather give him beer and wine all the time.  He stated that on fishing trips and at parties they give him alcohol all the time.

At the end of the session the therapist turned to my ex and told her that he thinks he has finally found the origin of my son's behavior problems. My ex did not understand what he meant and stated that she does not give my son alcohol all the time.  She says that they have given him a beer here and there but that my son makes it sound like they let him drink.

I find this behavior disgusting and abusive.

Should I bring this up in the meeting tomorrow?

Does this help prove at all that my ex is the cause of my son's current situation?

Thank you,

Forgotten Father

[socrateaser]

It's just another piece of evidence, if you can get it into the court record. I'm not sure what the conditions of your meeting with the therapist are, so I don't know if this info is privileged. If not, then I'd definitely want the court to know about it.