How do I get out of house with daughter??

[redorange]

We are in Va, got married just after my daughter was born nearly 3 years ago.   The house is in his name, but I have paid about 95% of ALL expenses for 3+ years, and continue to do so.  If I leave now, I dont know what he will do since his income is almost nonexistant (but this is nothing new).   We have had some drama in past...he changed the locks on the house one day.  Police got involved and forced him to leave for 72 hours.   I do not want additional drama around my kids.  If I go rent a place (which is what I desperately want to do), I believe he will try to stop me from taking my daughter from the house.  If I leave w/out her, it would put me at a legal disadvantage (right??).   If I go file for physical custody, it will mean living in this house for months while it plays out....real bad for kids.   How the heck do I get out of here?   To make matters worse, he does not have money for atty (and he has strange ideas about the law...such as it being okay to just change the locks since my name not on house).  I dont really have the money either...would wipe me out to have atty.    Im looking for easiest (least drama) way out of the house with kids...and do not want to risk custody of my daughter.  He spends alot of time with her and suspect if this does go to court...I have a battle on my hands.   

Any advise would be much appreciated.

[gemini3]

So you don't want the father to have custody of your daughter.  How do you feel about shared custody?

[redorange]

I would be fine with shared custody, but he wants nothing to do with it. 

[poohbear]

If he has no income, it's going to be hard for him to fight you in court and win. I'm assuming you'll have an attorney, and he won't be able to afford one.

Rent a place, without his knowledge. Start moving some things. One day when he's not home move the big stuff. Have him served with divorce papers, to include a motion for temporary shared custody and a parenting plan outlining specific days and times for parenting time for each of you.

[Gestalt]

Has he been established legally as the child's father? You said you were married after she was born.