Massive Headache

[jmelton]

Dear Soc,

Divorced in 1993, have no custody of my 13yo daughter whatsoever. ex and daughter in CA, I am in Ar, . New wife 2 kids, full time student. Paid cs in cash at the request of ex for 3 yrs,(no reciepts of course). ex took my daughter out of the country without notifying me and denied visitation for almost 5 yrs. When I confronted my ex over the phone about this, she told me not to worry about cs until she came back from Italy. Got a letter from the state of CA telling I owe $40000 in arrears! also ex is brainwashing child and making me jump through major hoops just to see her for 10 days a year.

What are my options to:

1. do something about this support.

2. get some better visitation.

3 get partial custody?

Thanks, J

[socrateaser]

>Dear Soc,
>
>Divorced in 1993, have no custody of my 13yo daughter
>whatsoever. ex and daughter in CA, I am in Ar, . New wife 2
>kids, full time student. Paid cs in cash at the request of ex
>for 3 yrs,(no reciepts of course). ex took my daughter out of
>the country without notifying me and denied visitation for
>almost 5 yrs. When I confronted my ex over the phone about
>this, she told me not to worry about cs until she came back
>from Italy. Got a letter from the state of CA telling I owe
>$40000 in arrears! also ex is brainwashing child and making me
>jump through major hoops just to see her for 10 days a year.
>
>What are my options to:
>
>1. do something about this support.

Nothing, from what I can tell. Your facts say you paid in cash, which means you can't prove that you paid, so that's not an option. You could argue laches (unreasonable delay and unfair prejudice), but on a CA support order, Laches is only available for the interest, not the actual support. So, you're gonna be out 40K no matter what, which btw, is a felony under federal law, applicable here, because you are in different States. And, since State of CA is demanding payment, they could invoke federal law and have you arrested.

Since there's 40K at stake, I would seriously consider hiring a private detective to monitor your conversation in a public place with her within the State of CA, with the intent of getting her to admit that you paid support for as long as you did in cash. If it cost you a couple grand to do it, it would save you tens of thousands, and simultaneoulsy, it might place her in contempt, if she were to sign an affidavit stating that you never paid.

>
>2. get some better visitation.

Court's gonna say, where you been all the way in AR, all these years? And if you don't have a good answer, you're not gonna get squat.

>
>3 get partial custody?

Same answer as #2.