Ristrict communication between son & BM?

[littlebit]

My 10 year old son is supposed to be with me for 6 weeks during the summer.  I am trying to decide how to handle the communications to & from BM while he is here.  

Myself and three different psychologists have already tried, with no success, to make her understand the harm she is causing our son.

Every letter and phone call last summer was intended to make son feel bad about being at my house.  And he was noticeably disturbed each time.  Here are some examples of things she says to him in either phone calls or letters:

"I sit in your room & hold your things to try and be close to you while you are gone."  

"I will never give up on having you here with me."

"It makes me cry all the time when you are not here. I know you cry for me too."

"I just knew you would hate it there.  I'll come get you whenever you want me to."

"Just remember everything me and (stepfather) talked to you about.  We will never ever let anything bad happen to you."

"Your family misses you so much."

"(little brother) cries every day asking 'where's xxx'."

"I pray to God every time the phone rings that it is you."

Almost every letter had notes written on the envelope and on the letters in big magic marker:

"Please call me as soon as you read this!"
"Write me a letter right now!"
"Your Daddy won't let my calls come through!"
"I need to know you are safe!"
"I'm counting on you to call me!"

1) Should I restrict or monitor the phone calls and letters from BM to son?  

--There is a custody issue pending in court--

2)Will I look like I'm playing tit-for-tat to spite BM?  

3) Or will the judge realize I'm only trying to protect my child?

LittleBit's Dad

[socrateaser]

>1) Should I restrict or monitor the phone calls and letters
>from BM to son?  

Can't answer -- I'm not a therapist.

>
>--There is a custody issue pending in court--
>
>2)Will I look like I'm playing tit-for-tat to spite BM?  

If you act to advance your child's welfare, then no.

>
>3) Or will the judge realize I'm only trying to protect my
>child?

Can't answer this either -- I don't read minds or tell fortunes.

[smtotwo]

First, does your custody order say anything about phone contact?

If it doesn't then be resonable about phone calls.  Twice or three times a week is enough.

Our order reads that  respondent shall have phone contact every Tues. and Thurs from 7-8 PM.

Sadly, for DH's ex, the order says NOTHING about  her phone contact at all.  We do allow the children to call her, but we don't have to.  Just something for you to think about.