What is appropriate?

[dipper]

Dear Soc,

My fiance has been divorced, joint custody of youngest child for three years. The oldest has been living with him and only had visitations with mother - he is now 18. The mother planned on moving 100 miles away against fiance and youngest son's wishes. (and has done so now)

Their original custody order stated that they have joint legal custody and she had primary physical custody.  We are in Virginia.  While she has had primaryPC, he has had the child atleast half of the time - more like 60% of the time in the past three years.

She had sent fiance a letter stating she would move on June 14. He filed for custody - trial set for June 1- her lawyer pushed it back to June 29. She phoned a couple of weeks ago to request that my fiance to switch a couple of days that they normally had the child. She was to return him on June 12. She also informed my fiance that she would not be moving until June 19. Once she had the child back with her last week, she refused to return him....she moved on June 12 with the child.


His ex has asked atleast one person close to my fiance to go to court to say that he is on drugs and a bad father. Total lies! The person refused, but I am worried that she may get some of her pals to do so.

We have drafted a letter to her lawyer stating the deception that was involved in sneaking the son away and this is in violation of their joint custody agreement.  We had been asking for certain times visitation, but she has now asked my fiance to keep the child next week, with her picking him up two days before court.  When asked if he would be brought to court, she couldnt see the point.

My daughter's miss the child terribly as they are close and have been for years - before we started dating. They want to write letters to the judge telling him so.

His oldest son wants to go to court to confront his mother's lies and he believes his brother is better off here.

Questions:

Is it appropriate to mention her deceipt and outright attempts to have people lie in court in his letter to the lawyer?


We figure putting his request for his continued joint custody until the trial in writing and through her lawyer was best - are we right?


Would my children writing have any impact? We are to marry on July 3rd and they have been very close for over 2 years.


Does the oldest child need to be subpoenaed? I have been in court where the other lawyer asked my brother to leave - so I am afraid if he isnt issued a summons, they may boot him out so that he cant speak.



Will the younger child's letter to the judge stating his wish to remain here be sufficient or does he need to be there?



I know I have asked alot. If it were just a matter of them going to the judge with the child's best interest at heart, I wouldnt worry. But, I dont know if my fiance will have a lawyer. He shouldnt need one if the facts speak for themself and there isnt much money for one.

Thank you!!!!

[socrateaser]

>Is it appropriate to mention her deceipt and outright attempts
>to have people lie in court in his letter to the lawyer?

Not really. You're just giving your opponent ammunition to accuse you of having "anger" issues.

>
>
>We figure putting his request for his continued joint custody
>until the trial in writing and through her lawyer was best -
>are we right?

You have a court order. Whatever it says, is what you're entitled to. If you don't get exactly what the order says, then the other parent is in contempt, and you should move for a contempt order against her. Otherwise, do what the order says and demand that the other parent do the same.

>
>
>Would my children writing have any impact? We are to marry on
>July 3rd and they have been very close for over 2 years.

Not in my opinion.


>
>
>Does the oldest child need to be subpoenaed? I have been in
>court where the other lawyer asked my brother to leave - so I
>am afraid if he isnt issued a summons, they may boot him out
>so that he cant speak.

I would need to read the allegations that you have submitted to the court on which you base your motion/petition for custody, before I could advise as to what evidence/testimony to present.

>
>
>
>Will the younger child's letter to the judge stating his wish
>to remain here be sufficient or does he need to be there?

The letter is hearsay, and can be denied admission into evidence, without the child's testimony. However, judge's are not happy when the child who is the subject of the custody hearing is brought to testify, because it shows a certain insensitivity for the child's relationship with the other parent. Hard to analyze with only your sketchy facts.


>I know I have asked alot. If it were just a matter of them
>going to the judge with the child's best interest at heart, I
>wouldnt worry. But, I dont know if my fiance will have a
>lawyer. He shouldnt need one if the facts speak for themself
>and there isnt much money for one.

Um, that's sort of like saying, because you have God on your side, you don't need to bring a rifle with you to the front line of a war. If you are faced with an attorney as your opponent, you will lose 99% of the time. So, unless you have some considerable experience in court, I suggest that you FIND the money to hire an attorney, because otherwise, you're probably going to get creamed.